Wednesday, April 1, 2009

episode 8-26 (April 1): Top 9 results

So... the Ford video ("Mixed Up"). Um... what was that? It featured very little actual singing. I'm sure it was fun for the nine of them to mug in front of a green screen, but shouldn't some singing enter into it?

Allison is a great choice to open "Don't Stop Believin'". Man, Danny and Allison should've just done the whole thing, because they just nail it every time the camera focuses on them, which oddly enough iturns out to be most of the time anyway. Samantha is convinced the whole thing was lip-synched, but I don't think so, and my lip-synch radar is pretty strong. "Hot and Cold" those many weeks ago absolutely was lip-synched with a vengance (if both an Idol spokesman and Justin Guarini says so, it must be so!), but tonight I don't think so.

In the extended hangout-at-the-house clip, Matt's imitation of Danny turns out to be one of the most entertaining things we've seen this season. (When they talk about the chefs and pull out the menu, what does "Scotts" in quotation marks mean? Do the conventions of proper punctuation not apply in the holy Idol house?

Oh my lord. This initial separation of the "safes" from the "maybe-safes" from the bottom three is like watching paint dry. And not fun, day-glo paint either.

Season 7 champion David Cook (my pick from the beginning, thank you very much) presents... a rather dull song. I'm a little surprised that this was his choice for his return engagement, considering he was supposed to be the less boring of the two Davids. There were moments when he added some grit to offset the blandness, but it didn't work.

Megan makes crow noises on her way to the Chaises du Bottom Three, and it didn't sound much different than her singing last night. ("Tuuuuuuuurn your lieeeeeets dowwwwwn lowwwww.")

Allison and Adam look like twins! Who's styling these people? Allison was sent to Les Chaises as well, which is disappointing, but hey, someone's got to be there. But Anoop too? Seriously?! Enough, folks. We get it. Scott is a sentimental favorite for overcoming his disability, but how does he sing?!?! How. Does. He. Sing. Like that guy who sang "Silent Morning", that's how.

Lady GaGa, playing the world's brightest piano (and very well to boot), performs her hit "Poker Face". I find it fascinating that a well-trained musician is going the dance-club route. At least it's a fairly well-written dance-club song, though the vogueing started to give me a headache. Seriously, will go out of style already?

Yay! Megan is gone! And they gave her the ironic dignity of singing for fun this time, as there was no chance for a Save for her. But instead of standing like a stringless-marionette, this time she dances like Kermit the Frog when they do a full-body shot on Sesame Street. I hate to ask this of a woman who will be returning to her baby, but... is she under the influence of something? Or is she really just that odd? We see in the goodbye clip that Simon liked what he heard from the start, and the appeal is still a mystery to me.

Next week: songs from the year the contestants were born. 1983 is, in my opinion, the greatest year for pop music ever, and I feel pretty secure that Adam won't ruin it for me, but pity the poor fool who has a sentimental attachment to the music of 1986, 'cuz Scott's got your number. I forsee a nasal and awkward rendition of "Back in the High Life" in our future.

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