I won't go into detail about the reveals tonight, except to say I audibly cheered when Anoop squeaked in at the last minute.
[Fox TV's video recap here.]
Again, my biggest interest in the results shows is in the group numbers. I loved the Ne-Yo group number last week. Even if that song was used out of licensing obligation, it was still a killer choice, and the movement was tasteful. It remains the only group number I've ever seen on Idol that I truly liked.
Too bad I didn't blog about that one. Instead, I have the unfortunate task to blog about this one, set to Katy Perry's "Hot and Cold". The whole thing definitely reeked of licensing obligation, given that, well, it's a pretty crappy song. The women descending the stairs one step at a time en masse was actually quite arresting, but the guys all looked they were on different planets. Nathaniel Marshall, in all of his "I'm so individualistic I could just pee" glory, is actually playing up the song to the camera very well. Meanwhile, Scott MacIntrye stilll has that deer-in-the-headlights looks and is incredibly awkward with his hand-gestures, which I imagine we're supposed to dismiss in deference to his vision issues but shouldn't as there's no real connection there; he just needs serious coaching on how to look more casual in performance. (This stiltedness is surprising, considering how relaxed and dreamy he looks in the publicity photos.) Alex Wagner-Trugman also needs serious coaching on how to conduct one's self in a public performance in general; his shifting focus reminds me of myself, and that's super uncomfortable. (That thing I said about social holding his own in this show's cast? Still standing by that.)
Tomorrow: things get wild (card).
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
episode 8-16 (March 3): Top 36 - group 3 performance
No need for formalities; this show is long enough. Every time the bumper comes up to lead into the show itself, and the voiceover says "Get ready for two all-new hours of American Idol!", I really do feel the need to brace myself.
Von Smith does his best with Marvin Gaye's "You're All I Need To Get By" The opening reminds me of George Michael singing the opening of "Father Figure", in the sense of getting really breathy in the bottom of his range. The comparison falls apart beyond that, though, as his struggling on the opening verse was uncomfortable. He hits some killer high notes in the choruses, including some solid falsetto parts, with less "shouting" that we saw in Hollywood. Kara thinks he's "coming into his own," but I'm not convinced there's a ton to come into beyond this. That said, he really put his all into this, and I can't begrudge him his performance, which was electrifying at key moments. He probably won't go far compared to others, but he can be proud. Paula says off-the-cuff that he was pitch-perfect, which is not quite right either, but it was surprisingly solid. (Simon draws a comparison to Clay Aiken, although Rick Astley came to mind for me.)
Taylor Vaifanua does the breathiest version of Alicia Keys' "If I Can't Have You" I've ever heard, and by "breathy", I mean that she was breathing after every word. Also, why is she being put in the position of being so low in her range at the beginning? Rickey? (I do like the reharms that band is doing.) Ultimately a very forgettable performance.
I'm going to call Alex Wagner-Trugman "Chris Griffin". Why? Because he's "soooooooo awkwarrrrd." Or maybe Quagmire; "allllrighhhht." "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" starts way to low for hi, and the opening verse is very unsteady at the outset, exacerbated by the ridiculous growling that doesn't sound good to anyone but himself. Then it starts to grow! And then it collapses. What a rollercoaster this verse is! He's trying so heard, he sounds like he's actually sick. All of this stylizing is contrary to what endeared him to the judges in the first place. Rule no. 3!
3) Chose a song that is good for you.
He's so awkward it hurts. It's not a dig on him personally, but he's... so awkward. (Paula didn't really even critique him; she's come down from the lucidity she'd shown in the cattle-call episodes.)
Rickey Minor: Was that modulation necessary? Could you smooth out the groove of the song any more? Seriously? (Well, at least Alex ended up in the right key.)
Arianna Afsar has the cojones to take on ABBA's "The Winner Takes It All". It sound like she's in a decent place in her range, and then... the chorus is suprisingly weak. Now, the second chorus is absolutely killer, but she's didn't so enough of the strong material to justify moving on. Not terrible across the board as Simon insisted, but why isn't the whole song this good. Arianna's own note that she was trying to contemporize this song, after an Anne-Murray-esque performance straight out of the late '70s, indicates a lack of reflection on her part that's going to bite her back if she doesn't get guidance from the producers.
Ju'not Joyner reprises his ballad rendition of "Hey There Delilah", which I loved during Hollywood Week. He's got great control in the lower part of his range. "World" high note was a cop-out. (Rickey: thank you for _not_ modulating. That was a close one.) Interestingly, I was more interested in the arrangement than the performance. Unfortunately, his leather jacket and jeans comes across as cheap. Is it a size to large? When they did the sweeping camera shot, it was like watching the Michelin Man.
Kristen McNamara brings us a cheese-drenched uptempo "Give Me One Reason". (Ricky Minor piles on more cheese, with pointless modulations and... oh God, that awful brass patch.) She's just holding onto the mic for dear life at the beginning, but really comes out of her shell by the end. Hello, screaming head voice! Most of the judges complimented her on her range but questioned the song choice, and I agree.
Emo Boy is back! Nathaniel Marshall looks like Billy Idol meets Boy George meets a rare species of bird. What we've learned from previous auditions is that he's a jerk-ass who also happens to have a killer high baritone. This whole thing is so mid-'80s, from the arrangements to his vocal style to his outfit, and his tone reminds me of a high-school boy auditioning for a school musical in a voice that he thinks is appropriate, which is a shame consider that we've heard him sing the hell out of things. There's definitely raw talent there; if he gets through to the Top 12, millions of teenaged theater geeks will have reason to hope. (How annoying is the extra exposure he's getting afterward?)
Idol's resident bullet-dodger Felicia Barton presents the second(!) Alicia Keys song of the night, "No One". I heard this song on the radio a couple of days ago, and I still can't figure out why it was a hit. And then Felicia hits this out of the park. I think I like Felicia's performance better than Keys', her glitch in the first chorus notwithstanding. Holy crap is she lucky she got back on the show; she's better than most of the folks we've seen.
Scott MacIntrye chooses "Mandolin Rain", and it's an awful awful awful choice for him. His voice in this bottom part of this range isn't under as much control as we'd seen previously, like when he nailed "And So It Goes" in the cattle-call round with that amazing breathy tone. Higher up it's strong, but it all seems... so... earnest. He doesn't have an inherently powerful belt voice. Alas, he's moving in ways suggesting that no one's advising him on how he looks; his movements remind me of a high-schooler trying to do what he thinks an entertainer would, and failing at it. He needs to stick to ballads that play to his strengths. Rule No. 3 truly rules the live rounds.
It must be said, the judges (and producer, I presume) are appearing to give McIntrye a lot of leeway where physical presence is concerned. It would be a shame if continued on in the competition and continued on with a sympathy vote, as opposed for a strong performance.
Kendall Beard squeals her way through "This One's For The Girls". She's got serious power, but she completely loses control on moving passages. Looking like Kristen Chenowith but singing with poor intonation won't get you far in this competition. I'm with Simon, in that halfway through it I really was wondering when it would end; it felt like one level all the way through.
Jorge Nuñez has the cojones to sing "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me". And lo and behold, he's got serious power. This could have been a cheesefest, but he nailed it, Puerto-Rican accent and all. Wow. This guy was portrayed in earlier rounds as the clown, but he's suddenly one to watch. (I could have lived without the the gratuitous split screen. Is the Fox or Fox News?)
Lil Rounds absolutely brings the house down with Mary J. Blige's “Be Without You”. She's got a strong presence and just takes over this song from the get-go. (It doesn't hurt that it's a R&B song with juicy chord changes.) Wow, does she own the camera. That was the most powerful performance we've seen in the Top 36 so far, perhaps even surpassing Danny Gokey. Randy puts it best: swagger, like she owns the place. Which she does.
I'm rooting for for Lil, Felicia and Jorge to make it through tomorrow night. (Alas, I'm never home in time to vote, so I'll never be able to put my 10¢-per-message where my mouth is.)
Von Smith does his best with Marvin Gaye's "You're All I Need To Get By" The opening reminds me of George Michael singing the opening of "Father Figure", in the sense of getting really breathy in the bottom of his range. The comparison falls apart beyond that, though, as his struggling on the opening verse was uncomfortable. He hits some killer high notes in the choruses, including some solid falsetto parts, with less "shouting" that we saw in Hollywood. Kara thinks he's "coming into his own," but I'm not convinced there's a ton to come into beyond this. That said, he really put his all into this, and I can't begrudge him his performance, which was electrifying at key moments. He probably won't go far compared to others, but he can be proud. Paula says off-the-cuff that he was pitch-perfect, which is not quite right either, but it was surprisingly solid. (Simon draws a comparison to Clay Aiken, although Rick Astley came to mind for me.)
Taylor Vaifanua does the breathiest version of Alicia Keys' "If I Can't Have You" I've ever heard, and by "breathy", I mean that she was breathing after every word. Also, why is she being put in the position of being so low in her range at the beginning? Rickey? (I do like the reharms that band is doing.) Ultimately a very forgettable performance.
I'm going to call Alex Wagner-Trugman "Chris Griffin". Why? Because he's "soooooooo awkwarrrrd." Or maybe Quagmire; "allllrighhhht." "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" starts way to low for hi, and the opening verse is very unsteady at the outset, exacerbated by the ridiculous growling that doesn't sound good to anyone but himself. Then it starts to grow! And then it collapses. What a rollercoaster this verse is! He's trying so heard, he sounds like he's actually sick. All of this stylizing is contrary to what endeared him to the judges in the first place. Rule no. 3!
3) Chose a song that is good for you.
He's so awkward it hurts. It's not a dig on him personally, but he's... so awkward. (Paula didn't really even critique him; she's come down from the lucidity she'd shown in the cattle-call episodes.)
Rickey Minor: Was that modulation necessary? Could you smooth out the groove of the song any more? Seriously? (Well, at least Alex ended up in the right key.)
Arianna Afsar has the cojones to take on ABBA's "The Winner Takes It All". It sound like she's in a decent place in her range, and then... the chorus is suprisingly weak. Now, the second chorus is absolutely killer, but she's didn't so enough of the strong material to justify moving on. Not terrible across the board as Simon insisted, but why isn't the whole song this good. Arianna's own note that she was trying to contemporize this song, after an Anne-Murray-esque performance straight out of the late '70s, indicates a lack of reflection on her part that's going to bite her back if she doesn't get guidance from the producers.
Ju'not Joyner reprises his ballad rendition of "Hey There Delilah", which I loved during Hollywood Week. He's got great control in the lower part of his range. "World" high note was a cop-out. (Rickey: thank you for _not_ modulating. That was a close one.) Interestingly, I was more interested in the arrangement than the performance. Unfortunately, his leather jacket and jeans comes across as cheap. Is it a size to large? When they did the sweeping camera shot, it was like watching the Michelin Man.
Kristen McNamara brings us a cheese-drenched uptempo "Give Me One Reason". (Ricky Minor piles on more cheese, with pointless modulations and... oh God, that awful brass patch.) She's just holding onto the mic for dear life at the beginning, but really comes out of her shell by the end. Hello, screaming head voice! Most of the judges complimented her on her range but questioned the song choice, and I agree.
Emo Boy is back! Nathaniel Marshall looks like Billy Idol meets Boy George meets a rare species of bird. What we've learned from previous auditions is that he's a jerk-ass who also happens to have a killer high baritone. This whole thing is so mid-'80s, from the arrangements to his vocal style to his outfit, and his tone reminds me of a high-school boy auditioning for a school musical in a voice that he thinks is appropriate, which is a shame consider that we've heard him sing the hell out of things. There's definitely raw talent there; if he gets through to the Top 12, millions of teenaged theater geeks will have reason to hope. (How annoying is the extra exposure he's getting afterward?)
Idol's resident bullet-dodger Felicia Barton presents the second(!) Alicia Keys song of the night, "No One". I heard this song on the radio a couple of days ago, and I still can't figure out why it was a hit. And then Felicia hits this out of the park. I think I like Felicia's performance better than Keys', her glitch in the first chorus notwithstanding. Holy crap is she lucky she got back on the show; she's better than most of the folks we've seen.
Scott MacIntrye chooses "Mandolin Rain", and it's an awful awful awful choice for him. His voice in this bottom part of this range isn't under as much control as we'd seen previously, like when he nailed "And So It Goes" in the cattle-call round with that amazing breathy tone. Higher up it's strong, but it all seems... so... earnest. He doesn't have an inherently powerful belt voice. Alas, he's moving in ways suggesting that no one's advising him on how he looks; his movements remind me of a high-schooler trying to do what he thinks an entertainer would, and failing at it. He needs to stick to ballads that play to his strengths. Rule No. 3 truly rules the live rounds.
It must be said, the judges (and producer, I presume) are appearing to give McIntrye a lot of leeway where physical presence is concerned. It would be a shame if continued on in the competition and continued on with a sympathy vote, as opposed for a strong performance.
Kendall Beard squeals her way through "This One's For The Girls". She's got serious power, but she completely loses control on moving passages. Looking like Kristen Chenowith but singing with poor intonation won't get you far in this competition. I'm with Simon, in that halfway through it I really was wondering when it would end; it felt like one level all the way through.
Jorge Nuñez has the cojones to sing "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me". And lo and behold, he's got serious power. This could have been a cheesefest, but he nailed it, Puerto-Rican accent and all. Wow. This guy was portrayed in earlier rounds as the clown, but he's suddenly one to watch. (I could have lived without the the gratuitous split screen. Is the Fox or Fox News?)
Lil Rounds absolutely brings the house down with Mary J. Blige's “Be Without You”. She's got a strong presence and just takes over this song from the get-go. (It doesn't hurt that it's a R&B song with juicy chord changes.) Wow, does she own the camera. That was the most powerful performance we've seen in the Top 36 so far, perhaps even surpassing Danny Gokey. Randy puts it best: swagger, like she owns the place. Which she does.
I'm rooting for for Lil, Felicia and Jorge to make it through tomorrow night. (Alas, I'm never home in time to vote, so I'll never be able to put my 10¢-per-message where my mouth is.)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
episode 8-13 (Feb. 18): Top 36, group 1 results
I'm not going to go deep into this episode, nor will I likely go too deep into any results episode unless it's really heavy on the performances. However, there are a few things I need to get off my chest:
* The first group number of the season! Yay! By which I mean GOOD LORD WAS THAT AWFUL. I find it hard to believe that the producers get together after the episode shoots and say "Wow, that number was a total winner!" I mean... really. Assuming that Ricky Minor still has any taste left, this must be the most painful moment of the week-- only slight more painful than rehearsing it, of course.
* The background music underneath the result revelation is more disturbing than ever. Yes, I get it, they're creating more suspense, and it's been the trend on game shows since about 1999 that they slow down the revelations and use vaguely pulsing and ethereal music to do it. (I admit, the studio scenes in Slumdog Millionaire brought all of those tense memories rushing back.) But this music is out of control, with the heartbeat and the swelling dark choral harmonies. I wasn't sure if I was watching American Idol or meeting 343 Guilty Spark for the first time.
* The "game" of the show is now more confusing than ever. If there's a wild-card show (on March 5th), why does Ryan keep saying "You're not in the Top 12" and let them cry and hug as thought they're done? Are the producers regretting this stupid format and hoping people will just forget about it if Ryan fails to bring it up? It's like a twist we're being encouraged not to give a crap about. Huh?
* Rickey Minor needs to go. He should be ashamed of himself. Singing careers are riding on his ability to NOT SABOTAGE THEM. Ugh. (See previous posting.)
Another 12 up for arbitrary elimination but also possible resurrection next Wednesday. Did I get that right?
* The first group number of the season! Yay! By which I mean GOOD LORD WAS THAT AWFUL. I find it hard to believe that the producers get together after the episode shoots and say "Wow, that number was a total winner!" I mean... really. Assuming that Ricky Minor still has any taste left, this must be the most painful moment of the week-- only slight more painful than rehearsing it, of course.
* The background music underneath the result revelation is more disturbing than ever. Yes, I get it, they're creating more suspense, and it's been the trend on game shows since about 1999 that they slow down the revelations and use vaguely pulsing and ethereal music to do it. (I admit, the studio scenes in Slumdog Millionaire brought all of those tense memories rushing back.) But this music is out of control, with the heartbeat and the swelling dark choral harmonies. I wasn't sure if I was watching American Idol or meeting 343 Guilty Spark for the first time.
* The "game" of the show is now more confusing than ever. If there's a wild-card show (on March 5th), why does Ryan keep saying "You're not in the Top 12" and let them cry and hug as thought they're done? Are the producers regretting this stupid format and hoping people will just forget about it if Ryan fails to bring it up? It's like a twist we're being encouraged not to give a crap about. Huh?
* Rickey Minor needs to go. He should be ashamed of himself. Singing careers are riding on his ability to NOT SABOTAGE THEM. Ugh. (See previous posting.)
Another 12 up for arbitrary elimination but also possible resurrection next Wednesday. Did I get that right?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
episode 8-12 (Feb. 17): Top 36, group 1 performance
A "programming note," as Brian Williams and Matt Lauer like to say. I've gotten some welcome feedback from folks I don't even know, which lets me know that people are actually reading this (and like it), which is nice. That said, obviously I'm not chronicling every episode and event, as the missing entries attest. I do have a job (music-related, which is nice), plus occasional side work (also usually music-related, also which is nice), and a wife and cat to pay attention to once in a while, _and_ a band which rehearses on Tuesday nights (meaning I'm usually watching the show on DVR, and usually don't see the whole show until past voting time). So I may not be the most comprehensive blogger ever, but I'll try to make the entries I _do_ post jam-packed with critiquey goodness.
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"Two all-new hours"? Sweet Lord. Thank God I have to DVR this show on Tuesdays. So, they can choose any song from the Billboard Hot 100, ever? Ever? Any chance we'll be hearing "Over There" or "Alexander's Ragtime Band"? Probably not.
(No, it's not just you-- Paula's eyebrows have increased to twice their original area.)
Jackie Tohn plows through "A Little Less Conversation". The combination of the black shiny tights and floppy motions makes for The Jackie Tohn Workout. No denying that she's a strong, fearless performer. When she's reaching, she's got a great gritty Janis-like style that works, but she doesn't seem to know what to do with the rest of her range.
Ricky Braddy... hmm, why have we not heard him before? (Thank you for mentioning that, Paula.) Leon Russell's "A Song For You" is a good choice for his sweet, blue-eyed soul voice. (Somebody help me out: when was this song popular?) Here come Fox's microphone issues, both in Ricky's pre-song sit-down and now in the middle of the song-- "You ttchtchtchththaught me" and such. Great control over his upper register, and a really focused falsetto! (Samanatha called it "dullsville" and feigned snoring.) I say there wasn't a weak note. Randy, Kara and Paula oo'd and ah'd. Simon is with Samantha: he has a great voice but a shy demeanor. (Aghhhhhh, Kara's mic! Who's running this show?!)
Alexis Grace's idea of "dirtying" herself up is putting a streak of pink in her hair. Woo hoo. In "Never Loved a Man" , she puts on an odd accent of some sort, like a German trying to speak in an American English accent a la Heidi Klum. When the hook comes around, putting herself that low in her range, particularly at this stage, seems a bad idea. In the adjudication, recalling the "dirty yourself" audition, Kara teaches us the most important lesson of all: Never be yourself. Oh wait, that's a bad thing. I'm really confused by the judges'-- even Simon's-- effusiveness over her. A fine voice, to be sure, but it seemed really "put on".
Oh, and what was with the judges audition-round obsession with "dirtying" auditionees? Did the producers have a "dirtying" quota they wanted the judges to help them fill?
(Live TV sucks.)
Brent Keith pulses his left leg throughout "Hick Town". He's unsure on so many notes, and when he gets to the bottom of his range, it's a shame. Billy Crystal (as Fernando Lamas on SNL) once joked that "dancing is like standing, only faster"; this was some fast standing. I'm with Kara and Paula on the risk factor; this showed very little of what the judges must've seen in him. And then when Simon critiques him for being forgettable, he's suddenly cocky. Seriously? Why isn't he putting that swagger in his performance? These folks need not just vocal coach, but audition coaches as well, for all-around presentation.
I was rooting for Stevie Wright so hard. Kara refers to her as an "old soul," which is a great way to describe what we've seen of her. And then she brings out a forgettable, bubble-gummy Taylor Swift , and it's SO LOW. SO FRICKIN' LOW!!!!!! Why, Ricky Minor, why?!?! I loved her in the early rounds, but she's so incredibly unsteady. She's showing her age here, with her inabiility to control her nerves. A forgettable performance, or more accurately one I wish I hadn't seen. Samantha remarked "She's wearing something out of the '80s. I used to do that, and it looked bad then!" Damn, I really thought she was a contender. And instead she violated Rule No. 3 of auditioning:
3) Chose a song that is good for you. Unfortunately, she doesn't know what's good for her. It's not fair to throw someone to the wolves like this without some audition coaching and some help with song selection.
She also became the first victim of Ricky Minor's shoddy musical direction. I mentioned in my very first posting that I'd bring up my issues with Ricky Minor if a problem arose, and here it is in the first live episode. Transpose a song up a measly step! Work with the singer and not against them, Ricky!
Oh, and Fox: fix your goddam microphones. Seriously. (And your tapes.) And your logistics with bringing people up to the sit-down, with the approach and the hugging and saying hi to the parents and more of the hugging... what a cinematographic mess, and a waste of air time.
Anoop Desai. He killed "My Prerogative" in Hollywood, and now he's killed "Angel of Mine". (Note on jargon: killed = good.) Perfect song choice, and great connection. (Sam feigned snoring in reaction to the tempo, but I was rapt.) He's like butter, and he just gets stronger every time we see him. Randy and Kara heard a general sharpness, but I didn't hear it-- maybe in it's in the bridge, which is harmonically weird ("every breath that I take," etc.). I'm with Paula that he's McKnight-smooth and makes a mutual connection with the viewers. Anoop refers to Ricky Minor and the band for "making us all sound good," even though we're going to find quite the opposite tonight.
Casey Carlson, who we were promised would "rock the Police," makes a bad, bad, bad choice with "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" (It's occuring to me how lucky Anglophiles are that "he" and "she" rhyme interchangeably. "Her" and "him"... not so much.) "from the staaaaaaaaart" is tremendously underwhelming; this is a belting song (belted by a tenor too) that must be WAILED, and a mezzo can't pull that . Ricky Minor and the band provides a shockingly milquetoast calypso-tinged arrangement (kudos to the drummer, though!). She fast-stands as well. (Sam called the karaoke; Randy agreed.) Simon says she shouldn't have been "allowed" to sing that song. Which begs the question: who's decision is it, btw? In an ordinary auditioning situation, of course, it's the auditionee's choice, as the auditioners are probably strangers, but here? Hmm.
I'm all set to worship Michael Sarver... and then he sings "I Don't Wanna Be". Noooooooooo!!!!! Why go to such a low part of your range?! Why, Michael, why?!?! He's not the aw-shucks charmer we met in the previous rounds; he's stiff in the limelight and makes awkward runs. Paula notices the unconscious shell game he's playing with the mic (I do the same in performance, and watching someone else do it is pretty uncomfortable). Simon is surprisingly kind; I love this guy to pieces, but he didn't convince me he's worth voting for.
Anne Marie Boscovitch presumes to sing "Natural Woman". Usually, picking an Aretha Franklin tune is bad foreshadowing, but she's got a clear voice that's s different enough from Aretha's to avoid comparison, but still top quality. I can sense doom coming up on the chorus... and it's good! Whew. But her run on the bridge is odd. She's trying to add this bitchiness to her voice that doesn't fit; she can hit the high notes, so why add that tone? (Maybe she's more familiar with the Carole King version.) She's strong a-cappella, but wilts with a band behind her.
Fowler inexplicable presents Michael Jackson's evergreen semi-rockin' "Rock With You". It's bad enough that the band sounds like karaoke-- God, that awful, awful string patch-- but it's such a boring song in this context! (Simon later agrees on the karaoke. Samantha says "It's like a bad wedding band!") Why, why, why? He's got those killer high belted notes, and choses a song that just kinda sits in the low and middle of his range. What a wasted opportunity. (Kara agrees.) I disagree with Paula's application of Only One Artist theory here, but I understand where she's coming from .
Tatiana Del Toro says she "fought through every round to get here"; I think she fought herself and her own tear ducts. She may have no emotional control normally, but GOD LORD does she sing the hell out of "Saving All My Love For you". She's got the demeanor of a giggly (that's an understatement) teenager, but she's got a shockingly experienced-sounding voice. Kara wonders who she "is"; I'm sure the television audience feels the same. She is shockingly poised on live television; I will assume that this _is_ the real Tatiana, because if she's giddy normally, then she should get more giggly in front of camera in front of a live studio audience, being broadcast to a live nationwide audience, no? I'm using the word "shockingly" shockingly often. (I see that the "I hate Tatiana" groups are already popping up on Facebook. Really, people.)
Gokey. "Hero" (Sam: "Ugghhhhh." Me: "Hmmmmmm."). Nice choice! The song goes low, but he's got such a killer breathy tone it works. Like a cross between Lionel Richie and Joe Cocker, he powers through this song like he owns it. Which he does. Mariah Carey no longer owns this song; it's that simple. I rarely disagree with Simon, but here it is; this was flawless. (Kara needs to stop eating her mic. Seriously.)
Alright, Rickey Minor, you'll transpose for Michael John, but not for the contestants? Really now.
Tomorrow: The Top 3 out of these 12, in addition to potentially all of the the remain 9, will become part of the Final 12 three weeks from now. Or something like that.
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"Two all-new hours"? Sweet Lord. Thank God I have to DVR this show on Tuesdays. So, they can choose any song from the Billboard Hot 100, ever? Ever? Any chance we'll be hearing "Over There" or "Alexander's Ragtime Band"? Probably not.
(No, it's not just you-- Paula's eyebrows have increased to twice their original area.)
Jackie Tohn plows through "A Little Less Conversation". The combination of the black shiny tights and floppy motions makes for The Jackie Tohn Workout. No denying that she's a strong, fearless performer. When she's reaching, she's got a great gritty Janis-like style that works, but she doesn't seem to know what to do with the rest of her range.
Ricky Braddy... hmm, why have we not heard him before? (Thank you for mentioning that, Paula.) Leon Russell's "A Song For You" is a good choice for his sweet, blue-eyed soul voice. (Somebody help me out: when was this song popular?) Here come Fox's microphone issues, both in Ricky's pre-song sit-down and now in the middle of the song-- "You ttchtchtchththaught me" and such. Great control over his upper register, and a really focused falsetto! (Samanatha called it "dullsville" and feigned snoring.) I say there wasn't a weak note. Randy, Kara and Paula oo'd and ah'd. Simon is with Samantha: he has a great voice but a shy demeanor. (Aghhhhhh, Kara's mic! Who's running this show?!)
Alexis Grace's idea of "dirtying" herself up is putting a streak of pink in her hair. Woo hoo. In "Never Loved a Man" , she puts on an odd accent of some sort, like a German trying to speak in an American English accent a la Heidi Klum. When the hook comes around, putting herself that low in her range, particularly at this stage, seems a bad idea. In the adjudication, recalling the "dirty yourself" audition, Kara teaches us the most important lesson of all: Never be yourself. Oh wait, that's a bad thing. I'm really confused by the judges'-- even Simon's-- effusiveness over her. A fine voice, to be sure, but it seemed really "put on".
Oh, and what was with the judges audition-round obsession with "dirtying" auditionees? Did the producers have a "dirtying" quota they wanted the judges to help them fill?
(Live TV sucks.)
Brent Keith pulses his left leg throughout "Hick Town". He's unsure on so many notes, and when he gets to the bottom of his range, it's a shame. Billy Crystal (as Fernando Lamas on SNL) once joked that "dancing is like standing, only faster"; this was some fast standing. I'm with Kara and Paula on the risk factor; this showed very little of what the judges must've seen in him. And then when Simon critiques him for being forgettable, he's suddenly cocky. Seriously? Why isn't he putting that swagger in his performance? These folks need not just vocal coach, but audition coaches as well, for all-around presentation.
I was rooting for Stevie Wright so hard. Kara refers to her as an "old soul," which is a great way to describe what we've seen of her. And then she brings out a forgettable, bubble-gummy Taylor Swift , and it's SO LOW. SO FRICKIN' LOW!!!!!! Why, Ricky Minor, why?!?! I loved her in the early rounds, but she's so incredibly unsteady. She's showing her age here, with her inabiility to control her nerves. A forgettable performance, or more accurately one I wish I hadn't seen. Samantha remarked "She's wearing something out of the '80s. I used to do that, and it looked bad then!" Damn, I really thought she was a contender. And instead she violated Rule No. 3 of auditioning:
3) Chose a song that is good for you. Unfortunately, she doesn't know what's good for her. It's not fair to throw someone to the wolves like this without some audition coaching and some help with song selection.
She also became the first victim of Ricky Minor's shoddy musical direction. I mentioned in my very first posting that I'd bring up my issues with Ricky Minor if a problem arose, and here it is in the first live episode. Transpose a song up a measly step! Work with the singer and not against them, Ricky!
Oh, and Fox: fix your goddam microphones. Seriously. (And your tapes.) And your logistics with bringing people up to the sit-down, with the approach and the hugging and saying hi to the parents and more of the hugging... what a cinematographic mess, and a waste of air time.
Anoop Desai. He killed "My Prerogative" in Hollywood, and now he's killed "Angel of Mine". (Note on jargon: killed = good.) Perfect song choice, and great connection. (Sam feigned snoring in reaction to the tempo, but I was rapt.) He's like butter, and he just gets stronger every time we see him. Randy and Kara heard a general sharpness, but I didn't hear it-- maybe in it's in the bridge, which is harmonically weird ("every breath that I take," etc.). I'm with Paula that he's McKnight-smooth and makes a mutual connection with the viewers. Anoop refers to Ricky Minor and the band for "making us all sound good," even though we're going to find quite the opposite tonight.
Casey Carlson, who we were promised would "rock the Police," makes a bad, bad, bad choice with "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" (It's occuring to me how lucky Anglophiles are that "he" and "she" rhyme interchangeably. "Her" and "him"... not so much.) "from the staaaaaaaaart" is tremendously underwhelming; this is a belting song (belted by a tenor too) that must be WAILED, and a mezzo can't pull that . Ricky Minor and the band provides a shockingly milquetoast calypso-tinged arrangement (kudos to the drummer, though!). She fast-stands as well. (Sam called the karaoke; Randy agreed.) Simon says she shouldn't have been "allowed" to sing that song. Which begs the question: who's decision is it, btw? In an ordinary auditioning situation, of course, it's the auditionee's choice, as the auditioners are probably strangers, but here? Hmm.
I'm all set to worship Michael Sarver... and then he sings "I Don't Wanna Be". Noooooooooo!!!!! Why go to such a low part of your range?! Why, Michael, why?!?! He's not the aw-shucks charmer we met in the previous rounds; he's stiff in the limelight and makes awkward runs. Paula notices the unconscious shell game he's playing with the mic (I do the same in performance, and watching someone else do it is pretty uncomfortable). Simon is surprisingly kind; I love this guy to pieces, but he didn't convince me he's worth voting for.
Anne Marie Boscovitch presumes to sing "Natural Woman". Usually, picking an Aretha Franklin tune is bad foreshadowing, but she's got a clear voice that's s different enough from Aretha's to avoid comparison, but still top quality. I can sense doom coming up on the chorus... and it's good! Whew. But her run on the bridge is odd. She's trying to add this bitchiness to her voice that doesn't fit; she can hit the high notes, so why add that tone? (Maybe she's more familiar with the Carole King version.) She's strong a-cappella, but wilts with a band behind her.
Fowler inexplicable presents Michael Jackson's evergreen semi-rockin' "Rock With You". It's bad enough that the band sounds like karaoke-- God, that awful, awful string patch-- but it's such a boring song in this context! (Simon later agrees on the karaoke. Samantha says "It's like a bad wedding band!") Why, why, why? He's got those killer high belted notes, and choses a song that just kinda sits in the low and middle of his range. What a wasted opportunity. (Kara agrees.) I disagree with Paula's application of Only One Artist theory here, but I understand where she's coming from .
Tatiana Del Toro says she "fought through every round to get here"; I think she fought herself and her own tear ducts. She may have no emotional control normally, but GOD LORD does she sing the hell out of "Saving All My Love For you". She's got the demeanor of a giggly (that's an understatement) teenager, but she's got a shockingly experienced-sounding voice. Kara wonders who she "is"; I'm sure the television audience feels the same. She is shockingly poised on live television; I will assume that this _is_ the real Tatiana, because if she's giddy normally, then she should get more giggly in front of camera in front of a live studio audience, being broadcast to a live nationwide audience, no? I'm using the word "shockingly" shockingly often. (I see that the "I hate Tatiana" groups are already popping up on Facebook. Really, people.)
Gokey. "Hero" (Sam: "Ugghhhhh." Me: "Hmmmmmm."). Nice choice! The song goes low, but he's got such a killer breathy tone it works. Like a cross between Lionel Richie and Joe Cocker, he powers through this song like he owns it. Which he does. Mariah Carey no longer owns this song; it's that simple. I rarely disagree with Simon, but here it is; this was flawless. (Kara needs to stop eating her mic. Seriously.)
Alright, Rickey Minor, you'll transpose for Michael John, but not for the contestants? Really now.
Tomorrow: The Top 3 out of these 12, in addition to potentially all of the the remain 9, will become part of the Final 12 three weeks from now. Or something like that.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
American Idol, episode 8-8 (Feb. 3): Hollywood round, days 1 & 2
"Auditioned over 100,000"? Well, not quite. I hear from friends who've auditioned that around one out of five people who line up will end up performing for the Gang of Four. That statistic still seems generous, though, since that would mean the judges pulled the current 147 competitors from a pool of 20,000 people over 16 days. That's a lot of sobbing and misplaced egocentrism.
[Fox TV recap video here.]
After a montage of quick cuts, swooping camera angles and sped-up action, the Kodak Theater is fetishized, Randy shows us that his grammar needs to catch up to his musicality, and we're introduced to Idol Boot Camp. As much I hated the idea of adding a "new twist" (read: more drama) to the show, I was actually pleasantly surprised by how productive of an addition the Boot Camp is. Although I thought bringing in Barry Manilow as a keynote speaker was over the top, he actually, perhaps unintentionally, spoke to the truth behind Boot Camp: the judges (and also the producers, I supposed) want the auditionees to succeed (i.e. not suck), and Boot Camp theoretically would raise the overall level of the auditions, bringing the show further in line with Fox's promise of less of a freak-show this season. The vocal coaches were a brilliant touch; at least now, when an auditionee makes horrible choice despite the coach's recommendations, we'll know it's ego and not just ignorance. Manilow also says that being a star is matter of "preparation meets opportunity." What's that? Being a yuge, yuge stah requires forethought? And you shouldn't squander an opportunity like you were entitled to it? Fancy that.
Lil Rounds, 23, sings "I-ee-I... Will Always Love You-ooooo". Exactly. Like. Whitney Houston. Interesting that the entire passage is no wider a perfect 4th-- without the chest voice oo-ing, it's down to a minor 3rd!-- and it sits right on the top of her range, which sounds so strained it hurt to listen to it. Kara stands for her, saying "that was hot," which suggests that the audition may have been good overall, and that leads to the obvious question: Why would Fox show bad portions of auditions that may actually be good over all, leaving the judges looking like idiots and leaving the viewers annoyed?
Dennis Brigham, 19, powers through "For Once In My Life". It comes off as very forced and a bit nasal too. (Turns out they made the right choice, given Dennis's arrogant reaction and atonal attempt at proving the judges wrong.)
Nathaniel Marshall, 18, wearing 1990 upholstery for a shirt and his heart on both non-sleeeves, sings "The Anchor Holds" with a breathy R&B intensity. He's obviously got serious pipes, but, as Paula points out, it kinda hangs out on the same few notes, like Lil's audition. His explanation for why he chose that more obscure, mellow song dissolves into balthering, and is foreshadowing for the sea-foam-tinted drama he'll create later.
Anoop Desai has come a seriously long way since his KC audition. I originally thought of his a raw talent forged in the unfortunate crucible of the college a-cappella set, but making it to Hollywood must've put some fire under his butt, because the ten seconds we hear here are fantastic. I call him for the final 36. [Insert future backpedalling here.]
Jasmine Murray continues down the vocal warpath. Not a single note sound half-assed, and it still somehow doesn't seem derivative. Like Anoop, she's obviously working on her own, and it shows. I call her for the final 36 as well.
Rose Black, continuing her run as Idol's resident street urchin, sings "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay" with an odd combination of earnestness and weakness. There are moment which are strong, in a gritty Overmeyer-ish way, and then others where she looks like she's about to fall asleep. How she's going to get through the group day without collapsing is anyone's guess.
Stephen Fowler, 26, channels Stevie (Wonder, not Nicks) and, as Paula says, nails it. Gorgeous, soulful tone without going overboard. I call him for the final 36. Or Fox could be setting me up for frustration. (Bastards.)
Jorge Nunez, 20, starts off like Lil, with a long screaming high note, but mercifully heads downward and reveals a strong belting tenor.
Von Smith, 22, is _also_ belting like crazy. I loved what I heard here; it was controlled, despite the relentless high notes, and the improvvy passages felt natural. Simon calls in "indulgent nonsense," "annoying" and childlike. Again, it seems obvious that judging some performances will be impossible in these edited snippets.
Flash back to Debra Byrd, Boot Camp vocal coach, impressing the competitors on the importance of song choice. "Is this right song for me, right here, right now?" Flash forward to one auditionee after another being chastised on stage for poor song choice. Even if their were licensing limitations, how can you limit yourself to one song that doesn't work?
Nick Mitchell (27!), a/k/a Norman Gentle, a/k/a half of the guys who perform at The Duplex, has returned to cheese his way through an audition. (I love that the whole Norman Gentle get-up was sitting in a trash bin on Chelsea Piers at some point.) Again, he's got a strong voice that he chooses to pinch for comedic effect on "I Am Not Going". Not that I think that Idol is the be-all and end-all of performing, but... 100,000 people showed up hoping to get at least this far... he was picked as of the 127 to get here... why would anyone want to squander this opportunity? Simon hates the camp, and Paula would like to see him perform without the camp, which of course he should have been doing anyway. He's on the group auditions, somehow, with two strikes against him.
Following a minute of Ford product placement, we get to Jackie Tohn, 27, another Obermeyer-sounding wild child with lots of energy and tendency to twang every vowel. (She's also missing an inner monologue, which will for very interesting live television if she gets that far.)
Jamar Rogers, 26, powers through "California Dreamin'" like it's his job (and could be his job). Talk about a strong choice: a well-written song, it shows different parts of his range, and it sits perfectly in his range.
Danny Gokey, 28 (and a music teacher!), equally powers through "Kiss From a Rose". I think I would pay money to hear this guy's voice in concert. It's got that breathy off-kilter he's-about-to-blow-a-gasket-but-doesn't sound that's like butter (salted butter, but butter).
Kartina "Bikini Girl" Darrel, 22. She is the next American Idol because... she is. Right. He rendition of "I Can Feel You Breathe" is very pushy, almost whiny. Which is not to say that she lacks natural power, but she doesn't appear to have put much work into her singing since the cattle-call, which is another strike against her in the self-entitlement department. Interestinly, Randy suggests that she _has_ been working on her voice, which I find hard to believe. What is it about this girl that clouds Randy's and Simon's objectivity? Goodness. (Granted, she does look [and sound] better this time around.)
Sharon Wilbur is eliminated, thank goodness. She had no shot at the Top 36 anyway.
Jeremy Michael Sarver continues to break my heart. He's got a strong, authentic country bari-tenor that doesn't let up. HIs spot in the Top 36 is a no-brainer, assuming Fox isn't setting us up for the biggest red herring ever.
Jesus Valenzuela, 29, comes up weak. Why go so far down-- "what I really feel"-- to a part of your range thst isn't strong? Yet another bad choice in two days of bad choices, and he pays for it.
David Osmond. A good audition-- smooth as last time though not as commanding-- but my ability to critique it is overshadowed by my annoyance with Fox's audio techs, which now continues into a third season. Why is it that beat-up microphones in dive bars in New York City can handle loud singing and plosive consonants, but as soon as someone on a high-budget national television show sings the words "apart" on a louder high note, it sounds like a horror show. Turn up the gain and get those mics some pop filters, fer crissake. He moves on, mic issues and all.
Emily Lynn Hughes plans to sing "I Put A Spell On You" ("the 1940's original song," as she oddly tells two of the vocal coaches), but calls an audible and sings an unrehearsed song on stage. So much for making choices, and for using the vocal coaches that Fox is no doubt handsomely compensating; even her mom can't figure out what she was thinking. "Excuse Me Mister" sounds hesitant, and the judges call her on it, but apparently it must've been stronger than we saw, as she's on the group round. She later attributed the switch to nerves, which doesn't bode well for her as the stakes get higher.
Following that elimination, Erika Wesley, 26, who we saw for literally five seconds earlier, shows some cojones by asking the judges for another chance, and she might've gotten it from Paula if she hadn't brought up her husband's birthday, which sends Paula (and Kara and Randy) into a tizzy. You swear forcefully that you're a fighter, and then you bring up your husband's birthday? Seriously? Rule no. 4 again:
4) A crisis on your part does not constitute sympathy on an auditioners' part.
You can see the frustration and resignation on Simon's face when they cut to him, and aside from annoyance at the cajoling itself, I think I know what he's thinking. If I were in his shoes, playing the dual role of celebrity judge and co-producer (IIRC) on this show for eight years now, I'd be having a terrible revelation that the chickens came home to roost long ago, and those chickens are still showing up and will not be easy to get fend off. When the show took off in its first season, the freaks started coming out to audition for the second season. When the producers saw that the freaks were testing well in the focus groups, the show started running "best of the worst" specials, which of course gave freakdom further incentive to come out and audition and fly their freak flags on television. The freak-show in general were more likely to be overly emotive, to cajole the judges, to be arrogantly self-deluded, and to generally be less professional (and often flat-out rude) and not understand the basics of auditioning. Now, despite Fox's promise that there would less of a freak-show in this season, they're still being bombarded with auditionees who, despite being talented, still think that auditionees have license to act like babies. It's like the current rash of IM-speak sneaking into classroom writing: the kids aren't stupid or even bad speakers of English, they just have no idea that it's inappropriate.
Tomorrow night, we go to... oh, it's the same theater. What theater is that again, Ryan? I'm sure he'll remind us again, first thing.
[Fox TV recap video here.]
After a montage of quick cuts, swooping camera angles and sped-up action, the Kodak Theater is fetishized, Randy shows us that his grammar needs to catch up to his musicality, and we're introduced to Idol Boot Camp. As much I hated the idea of adding a "new twist" (read: more drama) to the show, I was actually pleasantly surprised by how productive of an addition the Boot Camp is. Although I thought bringing in Barry Manilow as a keynote speaker was over the top, he actually, perhaps unintentionally, spoke to the truth behind Boot Camp: the judges (and also the producers, I supposed) want the auditionees to succeed (i.e. not suck), and Boot Camp theoretically would raise the overall level of the auditions, bringing the show further in line with Fox's promise of less of a freak-show this season. The vocal coaches were a brilliant touch; at least now, when an auditionee makes horrible choice despite the coach's recommendations, we'll know it's ego and not just ignorance. Manilow also says that being a star is matter of "preparation meets opportunity." What's that? Being a yuge, yuge stah requires forethought? And you shouldn't squander an opportunity like you were entitled to it? Fancy that.
Lil Rounds, 23, sings "I-ee-I... Will Always Love You-ooooo". Exactly. Like. Whitney Houston. Interesting that the entire passage is no wider a perfect 4th-- without the chest voice oo-ing, it's down to a minor 3rd!-- and it sits right on the top of her range, which sounds so strained it hurt to listen to it. Kara stands for her, saying "that was hot," which suggests that the audition may have been good overall, and that leads to the obvious question: Why would Fox show bad portions of auditions that may actually be good over all, leaving the judges looking like idiots and leaving the viewers annoyed?
Dennis Brigham, 19, powers through "For Once In My Life". It comes off as very forced and a bit nasal too. (Turns out they made the right choice, given Dennis's arrogant reaction and atonal attempt at proving the judges wrong.)
Nathaniel Marshall, 18, wearing 1990 upholstery for a shirt and his heart on both non-sleeeves, sings "The Anchor Holds" with a breathy R&B intensity. He's obviously got serious pipes, but, as Paula points out, it kinda hangs out on the same few notes, like Lil's audition. His explanation for why he chose that more obscure, mellow song dissolves into balthering, and is foreshadowing for the sea-foam-tinted drama he'll create later.
Anoop Desai has come a seriously long way since his KC audition. I originally thought of his a raw talent forged in the unfortunate crucible of the college a-cappella set, but making it to Hollywood must've put some fire under his butt, because the ten seconds we hear here are fantastic. I call him for the final 36. [Insert future backpedalling here.]
Jasmine Murray continues down the vocal warpath. Not a single note sound half-assed, and it still somehow doesn't seem derivative. Like Anoop, she's obviously working on her own, and it shows. I call her for the final 36 as well.
Rose Black, continuing her run as Idol's resident street urchin, sings "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay" with an odd combination of earnestness and weakness. There are moment which are strong, in a gritty Overmeyer-ish way, and then others where she looks like she's about to fall asleep. How she's going to get through the group day without collapsing is anyone's guess.
Stephen Fowler, 26, channels Stevie (Wonder, not Nicks) and, as Paula says, nails it. Gorgeous, soulful tone without going overboard. I call him for the final 36. Or Fox could be setting me up for frustration. (Bastards.)
Jorge Nunez, 20, starts off like Lil, with a long screaming high note, but mercifully heads downward and reveals a strong belting tenor.
Von Smith, 22, is _also_ belting like crazy. I loved what I heard here; it was controlled, despite the relentless high notes, and the improvvy passages felt natural. Simon calls in "indulgent nonsense," "annoying" and childlike. Again, it seems obvious that judging some performances will be impossible in these edited snippets.
Flash back to Debra Byrd, Boot Camp vocal coach, impressing the competitors on the importance of song choice. "Is this right song for me, right here, right now?" Flash forward to one auditionee after another being chastised on stage for poor song choice. Even if their were licensing limitations, how can you limit yourself to one song that doesn't work?
Nick Mitchell (27!), a/k/a Norman Gentle, a/k/a half of the guys who perform at The Duplex, has returned to cheese his way through an audition. (I love that the whole Norman Gentle get-up was sitting in a trash bin on Chelsea Piers at some point.) Again, he's got a strong voice that he chooses to pinch for comedic effect on "I Am Not Going". Not that I think that Idol is the be-all and end-all of performing, but... 100,000 people showed up hoping to get at least this far... he was picked as of the 127 to get here... why would anyone want to squander this opportunity? Simon hates the camp, and Paula would like to see him perform without the camp, which of course he should have been doing anyway. He's on the group auditions, somehow, with two strikes against him.
Following a minute of Ford product placement, we get to Jackie Tohn, 27, another Obermeyer-sounding wild child with lots of energy and tendency to twang every vowel. (She's also missing an inner monologue, which will for very interesting live television if she gets that far.)
Jamar Rogers, 26, powers through "California Dreamin'" like it's his job (and could be his job). Talk about a strong choice: a well-written song, it shows different parts of his range, and it sits perfectly in his range.
Danny Gokey, 28 (and a music teacher!), equally powers through "Kiss From a Rose". I think I would pay money to hear this guy's voice in concert. It's got that breathy off-kilter he's-about-to-blow-a-gasket-but-doesn't sound that's like butter (salted butter, but butter).
Kartina "Bikini Girl" Darrel, 22. She is the next American Idol because... she is. Right. He rendition of "I Can Feel You Breathe" is very pushy, almost whiny. Which is not to say that she lacks natural power, but she doesn't appear to have put much work into her singing since the cattle-call, which is another strike against her in the self-entitlement department. Interestinly, Randy suggests that she _has_ been working on her voice, which I find hard to believe. What is it about this girl that clouds Randy's and Simon's objectivity? Goodness. (Granted, she does look [and sound] better this time around.)
Sharon Wilbur is eliminated, thank goodness. She had no shot at the Top 36 anyway.
Jeremy Michael Sarver continues to break my heart. He's got a strong, authentic country bari-tenor that doesn't let up. HIs spot in the Top 36 is a no-brainer, assuming Fox isn't setting us up for the biggest red herring ever.
Jesus Valenzuela, 29, comes up weak. Why go so far down-- "what I really feel"-- to a part of your range thst isn't strong? Yet another bad choice in two days of bad choices, and he pays for it.
David Osmond. A good audition-- smooth as last time though not as commanding-- but my ability to critique it is overshadowed by my annoyance with Fox's audio techs, which now continues into a third season. Why is it that beat-up microphones in dive bars in New York City can handle loud singing and plosive consonants, but as soon as someone on a high-budget national television show sings the words "apart" on a louder high note, it sounds like a horror show. Turn up the gain and get those mics some pop filters, fer crissake. He moves on, mic issues and all.
Emily Lynn Hughes plans to sing "I Put A Spell On You" ("the 1940's original song," as she oddly tells two of the vocal coaches), but calls an audible and sings an unrehearsed song on stage. So much for making choices, and for using the vocal coaches that Fox is no doubt handsomely compensating; even her mom can't figure out what she was thinking. "Excuse Me Mister" sounds hesitant, and the judges call her on it, but apparently it must've been stronger than we saw, as she's on the group round. She later attributed the switch to nerves, which doesn't bode well for her as the stakes get higher.
Following that elimination, Erika Wesley, 26, who we saw for literally five seconds earlier, shows some cojones by asking the judges for another chance, and she might've gotten it from Paula if she hadn't brought up her husband's birthday, which sends Paula (and Kara and Randy) into a tizzy. You swear forcefully that you're a fighter, and then you bring up your husband's birthday? Seriously? Rule no. 4 again:
4) A crisis on your part does not constitute sympathy on an auditioners' part.
You can see the frustration and resignation on Simon's face when they cut to him, and aside from annoyance at the cajoling itself, I think I know what he's thinking. If I were in his shoes, playing the dual role of celebrity judge and co-producer (IIRC) on this show for eight years now, I'd be having a terrible revelation that the chickens came home to roost long ago, and those chickens are still showing up and will not be easy to get fend off. When the show took off in its first season, the freaks started coming out to audition for the second season. When the producers saw that the freaks were testing well in the focus groups, the show started running "best of the worst" specials, which of course gave freakdom further incentive to come out and audition and fly their freak flags on television. The freak-show in general were more likely to be overly emotive, to cajole the judges, to be arrogantly self-deluded, and to generally be less professional (and often flat-out rude) and not understand the basics of auditioning. Now, despite Fox's promise that there would less of a freak-show in this season, they're still being bombarded with auditionees who, despite being talented, still think that auditionees have license to act like babies. It's like the current rash of IM-speak sneaking into classroom writing: the kids aren't stupid or even bad speakers of English, they just have no idea that it's inappropriate.
Tomorrow night, we go to... oh, it's the same theater. What theater is that again, Ryan? I'm sure he'll remind us again, first thing.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
American Idol, episode 8-5 (Jan. 27): Jacksonville cattle-call
Welcome to Jacksonville, the wet T-shirt contest capital of the world. I loved the Randy-on-bass-with-Journey sequence; high-top fade city!
[Fox TV's recap here.]
Curly-haired Joshua Ulloa, 22, comes in with a ton of energy. On "Let's Get It On", I love this guy's voice, even though it's bleaty like a sheep's up on top. He does rely on gimmicks, although not out-there kind of gimmicks we're used to seeing from the usual freak-show. I'm happy to see him advance, but I wonder if he'll be able to hold his own in Hollywood.
Sharon Wilbur, 25, sings "Superstar" in an in-tune but hoarse voice, travelling into Britney Spears vowel territory, particularly on the "maybe" and "baby, baby, baby" part. Kara totally calls her on that, too! She's a one-trick-pony, vocally speaking, and don't she's worthy of advancing. I'm really surprised that Simon and Randy immediately say yes, particularly expressing how much they like her voice, and after some joking around, Kara and Paula say yes as well. Something that happened off-air must've convinced them to advance her, because better performers have been cut in this round. Weird.
College student Dana Mareno, 24, sings Chaka Khan's "Through the Fire" by way of a bad Patti LaBelle imitation. The only person who should be doing Patti LaBelle's voice is Patti LaBelle; it's that simple. She may very well have a good voice, but we'll never know because she blew her moment on the national stage with her dog-torturing high notes. What's rule no. 3 of auditioning again?
3) Chose a song that is good for you.
Maybe she's a killer alto? Again, we'll never know.
High-schooler Kaneswa Finnie, 16, gamely attempts "Caught Up in the Rapture". Alas, not only does she a limited range, but she's singing from the "front," almost through her nose. Sounds like she's crying. The fact that she's in three keys simultaneously doesn't help matters. (I love the shot of Paula's reaction when Kaneswa attempts the climb into the chorus; this song was contemporary with "Straight Up" in 1987, if I recall correctly.) Interesting that the judges asked for her protective mom to come in; it's like an intervention, but for the enabler.
Beauty queen Julissa "Candidata" Veloz, 19, sings a passionate but overwrought "I Am Nothing". She's got serious pitch issues, and she's trying so hard to be Whitney Houston she's stylizing like mad. "colorrrrrrs for youuuuuuuu" was an unfortunate touch. It was kind of Emo Phillips-like with the abrupt changes in tone, or perhaps Gary Cole in Office Space; I was half-expecting her to tell me she was going to have to go ahead and ask me to come in on Saturday, okay?, thanks. (I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on the belted notes, because Fox tends to turn up the gain on their mics whenever they suspect something embarrassing is going to happen.) Again, for reasons I can't figure out, she gets through. I'm sure she'll get destroyed in Hollywood.
The producers do a great job of setting up Darren Darnell, 28, for failure. Truly brilliant. As it is, anyone whose emotions turn on a dime like this isn't fit for most forms of employment. "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye" is obviously a producers' choice, as it dovetails with the subplot at Darren's expense. I love the look on Simon's face as Darren struggles to get the first note out, and then on Randy's as Darren pushes out the high notes with abandon . Let's introduce rule no. 4 of auditioning then, shall we?
4) A crisis on your part does not constitute sympathy on an auditioners' part. Obviously this is a more circus-like atmosphere than most auditions, but in most audition situations (collegiate a-cappella, community theater, Broadway), the auditioners see anywhere from dozens to hundreds of people, and dammit, they just want to hear your song, not your life story.
Naomi Sykes, 25, compares herself to Mariah Carey, and that "everyone tells me I'm great." Is this a bad sign? If said comparer narrowly defines "Mariah Carey" as "high notes," and said everyone is her family, then yes, it's a bad sign. Even worse if the high notes aren't there anyway. "Lovin' You" is of course famed for its squealing high notes, which Naomi kind of has, but then there's the matter of, oh, the rest of the song that is not the part with the squealing high notes. Being self-delusional doesn't help, but let the sane amongst us remember rule no 1 of auditioning:
1) Focus on what you're there to do, and don't distract yourself with stupid crap.
Like Tuan Nguyen, she no doubt thought she "had" the judges. Post-audition, she said "I don't know what I did wrong; I mean, I hit my high note and everything." Wow, one note. In an entire song.
High-schooler Jasmine Murray, 16, starts out with a strong R&B alto belt on Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry", but by the end of the verse she's gotten extremely nasal, and her flips turned into squeaks. I agree with her advancement, but only because she obviously has raw talent. She needs to learn to dial down the pushing if she want to last both through Hollywood and a song in general.
College physics major George Ramirez, 18, is set up for failure with one of the most awkward interview sequences ever. (He says "I'm not so bad," which doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement for himself. On "Walking On Sunshine", he has same eye-bugging-out issue as Alex Wagner-Trugman in the Phoenix auditions (Ep. 8-3). He truly reduces the song into its basic parts. Very V-to-I, or maybe like he was singing a Schenkerian analysis of the song. Everything stays on the same pitch level, which of course is generally a problem in every song except "One Note Samba".
Waitress and nanny Anne Marie Boskovich, 22, indulges in some Kara-worship, and sings better off-the-cuff then most sing prepared. On-air we only hear this off-the-cuff material, but I assume there was more, as the judges begin talking as though they've heard quite a bit of her, because they start referring to a lack of confidence. The judges challenge her to go back out into wherever it is they are, and, um, change into a different, more confident person. Huh? Now, this presents an interesting incongruity to those wishing to use Idol to teach the ins-and-out of auditioning. If Anne Marie lacked self-confidence, she wouldn't have showed up to sing in front of four celebrities and wow them without even trying. Yet they ask her to go out and come back with enough confidence to wow them. Quite the paradox. But off she runs, because some producer needed to create a story line, I guess.
Administrator T.K. Hash, 23, sings "Imagine" a bit too ad-libby, and a bit too much derivative of David Archuleta (particularly on the chorus). Not that I don't admire Archuleta's now legendary performance of this song (from season 7), but T.K. seems capable of more than imitation. Randy immediately pounces on that: "...it's okay to sing a great melody!" He advances, and he's got a shot. (Anyone know what most of his performance is based on?)
Michael Perrelli is previewed with a seaside snippet of "Hey There Delilah" that sounds suspiciously like a certain musical sequence from Family Guy. His voice was pushing in the clip, and that was in his supposed element. I see disaster on the horizon. Yep, there it is. Even after putting his guitar down, is he seriously wearing a backpack to an audition? Really? No one could hold it for him? He couldn't check it anywhere?
He gets through Third Eye Blind's "Jumper" with some confidence, although it sounds a bit, um, collegiate a-cappella. He also adds a mysterious British accent on the way; this might be his gimmick that, collegiate a-cappella-style, he thinks makes him sound better, when in fact it makes him sound like he's a collegiate a-cappella guy who takes shortcuts. Kara suggests that he might "shine" more on his guitar, but that would just bring him back to the Family Guy clip. Outside the room, Ryan asks his mom "What does Michael do?" She replies "This is it. This is it, all day long, all day long." Apparently he does it alone, because someone should've pointed out the fake accent by now. Amidst the critiquing from the judges to the effect that he needs to work at it a little long, he says "I just figured that if I just started and you guys got me while I'm young, then I could..." He thinks he's at the end of a journey that leads to this show. Unless you're colossally talented from the get-go, you need to WORK AT IT. (And yes, I freely admit that I was not colossally talented from the get-go, and am still not; I had to work up to my level of mediocrity.) He plaintively says outside, eyes filled with tears: "They say I'm not good enough; I don't want to be arrogant, but I know I am... I'm going to make it, I promise." If performing is all you have, then yes, by default, you're going to make it, or I guess die trying.
Anne-Marie returns, and powers through "Bubbly". It's quite uncanny how effortlessly she sings. If she develops some more charisma in Hollywood, she's through to the live rounds. I call that here. [Insert future backpedalling here.]
Montage of "Walkin' on Sunshine". Scary stuff.
Next: Salt Lake City gone wild.
[Fox TV's recap here.]
Curly-haired Joshua Ulloa, 22, comes in with a ton of energy. On "Let's Get It On", I love this guy's voice, even though it's bleaty like a sheep's up on top. He does rely on gimmicks, although not out-there kind of gimmicks we're used to seeing from the usual freak-show. I'm happy to see him advance, but I wonder if he'll be able to hold his own in Hollywood.
Sharon Wilbur, 25, sings "Superstar" in an in-tune but hoarse voice, travelling into Britney Spears vowel territory, particularly on the "maybe" and "baby, baby, baby" part. Kara totally calls her on that, too! She's a one-trick-pony, vocally speaking, and don't she's worthy of advancing. I'm really surprised that Simon and Randy immediately say yes, particularly expressing how much they like her voice, and after some joking around, Kara and Paula say yes as well. Something that happened off-air must've convinced them to advance her, because better performers have been cut in this round. Weird.
College student Dana Mareno, 24, sings Chaka Khan's "Through the Fire" by way of a bad Patti LaBelle imitation. The only person who should be doing Patti LaBelle's voice is Patti LaBelle; it's that simple. She may very well have a good voice, but we'll never know because she blew her moment on the national stage with her dog-torturing high notes. What's rule no. 3 of auditioning again?
3) Chose a song that is good for you.
Maybe she's a killer alto? Again, we'll never know.
High-schooler Kaneswa Finnie, 16, gamely attempts "Caught Up in the Rapture". Alas, not only does she a limited range, but she's singing from the "front," almost through her nose. Sounds like she's crying. The fact that she's in three keys simultaneously doesn't help matters. (I love the shot of Paula's reaction when Kaneswa attempts the climb into the chorus; this song was contemporary with "Straight Up" in 1987, if I recall correctly.) Interesting that the judges asked for her protective mom to come in; it's like an intervention, but for the enabler.
Beauty queen Julissa "Candidata" Veloz, 19, sings a passionate but overwrought "I Am Nothing". She's got serious pitch issues, and she's trying so hard to be Whitney Houston she's stylizing like mad. "colorrrrrrs for youuuuuuuu" was an unfortunate touch. It was kind of Emo Phillips-like with the abrupt changes in tone, or perhaps Gary Cole in Office Space; I was half-expecting her to tell me she was going to have to go ahead and ask me to come in on Saturday, okay?, thanks. (I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on the belted notes, because Fox tends to turn up the gain on their mics whenever they suspect something embarrassing is going to happen.) Again, for reasons I can't figure out, she gets through. I'm sure she'll get destroyed in Hollywood.
The producers do a great job of setting up Darren Darnell, 28, for failure. Truly brilliant. As it is, anyone whose emotions turn on a dime like this isn't fit for most forms of employment. "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye" is obviously a producers' choice, as it dovetails with the subplot at Darren's expense. I love the look on Simon's face as Darren struggles to get the first note out, and then on Randy's as Darren pushes out the high notes with abandon . Let's introduce rule no. 4 of auditioning then, shall we?
4) A crisis on your part does not constitute sympathy on an auditioners' part. Obviously this is a more circus-like atmosphere than most auditions, but in most audition situations (collegiate a-cappella, community theater, Broadway), the auditioners see anywhere from dozens to hundreds of people, and dammit, they just want to hear your song, not your life story.
Naomi Sykes, 25, compares herself to Mariah Carey, and that "everyone tells me I'm great." Is this a bad sign? If said comparer narrowly defines "Mariah Carey" as "high notes," and said everyone is her family, then yes, it's a bad sign. Even worse if the high notes aren't there anyway. "Lovin' You" is of course famed for its squealing high notes, which Naomi kind of has, but then there's the matter of, oh, the rest of the song that is not the part with the squealing high notes. Being self-delusional doesn't help, but let the sane amongst us remember rule no 1 of auditioning:
1) Focus on what you're there to do, and don't distract yourself with stupid crap.
Like Tuan Nguyen, she no doubt thought she "had" the judges. Post-audition, she said "I don't know what I did wrong; I mean, I hit my high note and everything." Wow, one note. In an entire song.
High-schooler Jasmine Murray, 16, starts out with a strong R&B alto belt on Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry", but by the end of the verse she's gotten extremely nasal, and her flips turned into squeaks. I agree with her advancement, but only because she obviously has raw talent. She needs to learn to dial down the pushing if she want to last both through Hollywood and a song in general.
College physics major George Ramirez, 18, is set up for failure with one of the most awkward interview sequences ever. (He says "I'm not so bad," which doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement for himself. On "Walking On Sunshine", he has same eye-bugging-out issue as Alex Wagner-Trugman in the Phoenix auditions (Ep. 8-3). He truly reduces the song into its basic parts. Very V-to-I, or maybe like he was singing a Schenkerian analysis of the song. Everything stays on the same pitch level, which of course is generally a problem in every song except "One Note Samba".
Waitress and nanny Anne Marie Boskovich, 22, indulges in some Kara-worship, and sings better off-the-cuff then most sing prepared. On-air we only hear this off-the-cuff material, but I assume there was more, as the judges begin talking as though they've heard quite a bit of her, because they start referring to a lack of confidence. The judges challenge her to go back out into wherever it is they are, and, um, change into a different, more confident person. Huh? Now, this presents an interesting incongruity to those wishing to use Idol to teach the ins-and-out of auditioning. If Anne Marie lacked self-confidence, she wouldn't have showed up to sing in front of four celebrities and wow them without even trying. Yet they ask her to go out and come back with enough confidence to wow them. Quite the paradox. But off she runs, because some producer needed to create a story line, I guess.
Administrator T.K. Hash, 23, sings "Imagine" a bit too ad-libby, and a bit too much derivative of David Archuleta (particularly on the chorus). Not that I don't admire Archuleta's now legendary performance of this song (from season 7), but T.K. seems capable of more than imitation. Randy immediately pounces on that: "...it's okay to sing a great melody!" He advances, and he's got a shot. (Anyone know what most of his performance is based on?)
Michael Perrelli is previewed with a seaside snippet of "Hey There Delilah" that sounds suspiciously like a certain musical sequence from Family Guy. His voice was pushing in the clip, and that was in his supposed element. I see disaster on the horizon. Yep, there it is. Even after putting his guitar down, is he seriously wearing a backpack to an audition? Really? No one could hold it for him? He couldn't check it anywhere?
He gets through Third Eye Blind's "Jumper" with some confidence, although it sounds a bit, um, collegiate a-cappella. He also adds a mysterious British accent on the way; this might be his gimmick that, collegiate a-cappella-style, he thinks makes him sound better, when in fact it makes him sound like he's a collegiate a-cappella guy who takes shortcuts. Kara suggests that he might "shine" more on his guitar, but that would just bring him back to the Family Guy clip. Outside the room, Ryan asks his mom "What does Michael do?" She replies "This is it. This is it, all day long, all day long." Apparently he does it alone, because someone should've pointed out the fake accent by now. Amidst the critiquing from the judges to the effect that he needs to work at it a little long, he says "I just figured that if I just started and you guys got me while I'm young, then I could..." He thinks he's at the end of a journey that leads to this show. Unless you're colossally talented from the get-go, you need to WORK AT IT. (And yes, I freely admit that I was not colossally talented from the get-go, and am still not; I had to work up to my level of mediocrity.) He plaintively says outside, eyes filled with tears: "They say I'm not good enough; I don't want to be arrogant, but I know I am... I'm going to make it, I promise." If performing is all you have, then yes, by default, you're going to make it, or I guess die trying.
Anne-Marie returns, and powers through "Bubbly". It's quite uncanny how effortlessly she sings. If she develops some more charisma in Hollywood, she's through to the live rounds. I call that here. [Insert future backpedalling here.]
Montage of "Walkin' on Sunshine". Scary stuff.
Next: Salt Lake City gone wild.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
American Idol, episode 8-1 (Jan. 13): Phoenix cattle-call
One new time-consuming job (teaching middle-school band!) and one DVR epic fail later, here I finally go. (This is written on Jan. 25, but I'm backdating the post to fit better chronologically.) Despite Fox's claims in the press over the last few months that there would less of a freak-fest than in past years, there is indeed a freak-fest in full effect in this first week, so my work is cut out for me.
As I've written in my initial posting, I'm approaching my critique of American Idol from a musical and performance perspective. It's especially hard to remain objective (and sane) in the cattle-call round, where the unprepared and self-delusional go to die. I will do my best to keep the Television-Without-Pity-esque snarkiness to a minimum, although my snark will certainly raise its head when it comes to questioning the choices of the unprepared and self-delusional. It'll likely die out as we enter the Hollywood round where people are 100% selected for their talent, as opposed to the television round of the cattle-calls where 50% are there for talent and 50% for weirdness.
[Fox TV's recap here.]
A faux-philosophical quote from David Foster opens the season. "In life, the microphone passes your lips but once... you had better be ready to sing." Seriously? Although this is obviously pop philosophy meant to make an analogy between performing and general chances in life, doesn't using music in the analogy in such a public setting run counter to what arts teachers try to impart: that it's okay to fail, as long as you're trying hard to improve? One chance? To be ready? Seriously? If that's advice to live by, it would certainly explain the endless train of auditionees who show up unprepared and then break down inconsolably because Simon didn't like them. Wahhhhhhhh.
Curtain up on Simon pep-talking a crowd during the first season, followed by a brilliantly-edited montage of past seasons' hits and misses, to the tune of Louis Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World". There are clips of the original auditions of eventual finalists-- Kelly Pickler, Chris Daughtry, Katherine McPhee, et al.-- as well as of less successful auditions and miscellaneous footage from the likes of William Hung, the "bush baby" guy, and the woman who flailed her middle fingers about and cryptically screamed at Simon to "take it, take it, take it!" No wonder she's so pissed: David Foster told her the microphone passes her lips but once!
A brief word on William Hung. I heard pieces of his debut album Inspiration when I was in the Virgin Megastore in Times Square shortly after the album's release in 2004. I happened upon a listening station, and just had to hear it. Was he a bad singer, even under the gloss of well-funded studio production? Oh yes. Were his inspirational messages treacly? Oh Lord yes. But is he self-deluded? Hard to say. You could say no, as he in fact got a record contract with Koch, which confirms, novelty or not, that he has a talent that's worth spending money on. But then again, not everyone defines success as a major-label record contract, and prefer the more old-fashioned standard of, say, being good at what you do. So in that sense, he remains quite self-deluded, albeit self-deluded on a large pile of money.
The season 7 finale reveal (from May 21) is replayed, and Ryan Seacrest intones in the voiceover: "At that moment, 55 million Americans held their breath." If your DVR is like mine, you held your breath a long time, because the episode ended at exactly 11 PM, so Ryan says "David...", immediately followed by my DVR asking "Would you like to delete this episode?" Is it really that hard to keep a show like this on schedule? With all of the awful wooden group performances that start the post-Hollywood shows, couldn't they do without one or two (or sixteen) of them for the sake of keeping 19 Entertainment's end-credit logo with the time frame of the show?
I called David Cook from his intial audition, by the way. Just sayin'.
Seacrest later intones "But this show is not about the destination; the beauty of Idol is the journey itself." Ironically, what keeps the hordes of the self-deluded and inexperienced coming to the auditions is that they see nothing but the destination-- fame, wealth, validation-- without considering any of the journey that precedes it. Like, I dunno, learning to sing before showing for a singing audition. God bless television.
20-year-old cashier and afro-cultivator Tuan Nguyen incorporates "tap-incorporated" ROTC-drill-inspired movement into his performances to make it "unique" and "more marketable". Hey, one out of two ain't bad. I admit I was quite intrigued by the movement in the clips leading up the audition, even though I know already that judges aren't going to care about it, and in fact anyone who pays attention to the show knows that dancing has never been a part of the show at all, making this train-wreck-in-the-making all the more compelling. His light tenor isn't awful, but his breath control is (probably compounded by nervousness, as demonstrated in the water-guzzling clip), and he changes keys twice before hitting the chorus of "The Way You Make Me Feel". And then the "dancing" ensues.
Let's forget for a moment that dancing is irrelevant in this competition. Whatever focus he exhibited in earlier clips completely disappears when he starts with the tap dancing, which of course looks nothing like the JROTC stuff he was talking about earlier, and in fact morphs into a second-rate imitation of Michael Jackson. What are two general lessons about auditioning can we take from this debacle?
1) Focus on what you're there to do, and don't distract yourself with stupid crap.
2) Audition with what the auditioners are looking for. Season after season, the judges reiterate that the show is at heart about singing, and yet people keep trying to incorporate gimmicks-- dance, costuming, etc.-- despite the overwhelming empirical evidence that it does you no good. Or does it? More on that later.
"Are you surprised?" asks Simon. "I mean, honestly, yeah, I am," a crestfallen Tuan replies (as Idol's genius producers fade up "Careless Whisper" underneath). Outside, he says "I'm really hurt right now. It meant the world to me... It seemed like they were with me at first, you know? I felt like I had it in the bag for a second." (It was, in fact, literally a second, two at the most.) "But then, I don't know, they just didn't like it."
Alright, this is the reason we need more arts in the schools. Not being to assess yourself is one problem; another problem is the inability to recognize criticism when it's negative and work with it to improve. He will no doubt take absolutely nothing from this experience other than disappointment, as he's just not equipped to handle anything outside of himself. If you live in Tuan's neighborhood, please kick his elementary-school general music teacher in the butt for me.
Tuan ends the interview saying "I don't know what they're looking for, honestly, but it's not me." See No. 2 above. You'd think that watching the show would help fill that gap in his knowledge, right?
21-year-old semi-pro singer Emily Wynne-Hughes, inexplicably wearing a scarf in the desert heat, does a decent job on "Barracuda". She starts out with quite a vibrato, but nails the higher notes in chest voice, which sounds like she's at the top her range.
This lesson, which she apparently already learned and demonstrated well, is lost on not just on many self-deluded Idol auditionees but on countless people everywhere in any audition situation-- including the students and adults I've auditioned for various programs and productions throughout the years. That is:
3) Choose a song that is good for you. During one single day of auditioning prospective vocal students for Talent Unlimited H.S. in Manhattan in 2005 (I was the band & orchestra teacher at the time), I heard Alicia Keys' "Falling" an amazing 15 times out of 30 auditionees. But did the song work for all 15 of them? Of course not. Two obvious reasons why this happened: a) the song was popular at the time, and b) the less successful auditionees simply weren't preparing themselves propertly for an audition. I don't know if it's a chorus teacher issue (if they were fortunate enough to have a chorus in middle school in New York City, that is) or a guidance issue, but these young ladies were approaching the audition the completely wrong way, and it frustrated me as the auditioner to not be able to gauge so many of them properly because they were either wrong for the song, or they were doing their best Alicia Keys impression and not singing in their own voice. It also, of course, made me wonder if this was the only song they could sing, and if so, how long have they been singing? Since elementary school, or since they found out about the audition? It's about the journey, not a single moment of truth, dammit.
28-year-old sales rep Randy Madden does have raw talent. He likely could muster up some better singing if he practiced and got more objective feedback on a regular basis, but it's not there now to justify going to Hollywood. He does appear to be genuine, sane, and take himself seriously.
Alright, maybe too seriously. "I just want someone to tell me that I'm great. That's all." "Where I'm standing, this is the moment where I can shine, or i can just go out like a comet, where you see me-- bright shining star-- and crash to the ground."
Yikes. Yet another reason we need arts in the schools. Is there no in-between for some people? Are people that afraid to fail? Are we as teachers not giving students the intellectual tools they need to not only self-evaluate, but to practice their craft productively to begin with, and to give them perspective they need, before auditions become earth-shattering events that will destroy them emotionally? And these are adults we're watching here! Like with politics and classroom management, you have to find the center. Everything in moderation, folks; everything in moderation.
After a weak rendition of "Livin' on a Prayer", Simon rightfully tells Randy M. that you can't just dress up in a rock star getup and declare yourself talented. When Randy tried to use his lack of training or collaboration as a selling point, Paula (impressively demonstrating a more lucid demeanor this season) gave great advice regarding the need for hard work and "comradery" with a band to get your skills up. "Going solo" isn't a badge of honor if it's not working.
(Anyone know if he was basing his performance on a popular recording other than Bon Jovi's? The unfamliar pauses and liberties with the melody sounded too well-planned to be on-the-spot mistakes. And did he really say "blue-collar guy working in a cubicle"?)
16-year-old high-schooler J.B. Ahfua is shockingly confident, with a powerful (albeit wavy) R&B tenor and great facility with the chromatic passages. He was a no-brainer to get the ticket to Hollywood; isn't it interesting how the best auditions usually end up being the shortest? His breathing was all over the place though (three times in three seconds at one point), which could kill him in future rounds as nerves creep in, as Simon alluded to when he said he wished J.B would "loosen up". The lesson he may end up learning the hard way is that better breathing begets better breathing; otherwise you're literally fighting yourself.
As I'm writing this, I'm laughing out loud at the Michael Gurr introduction sequence. And this is before he sings. (Doesn't Kara look eerily like a ringer for Idina Menzel in Wicked when they freeze her with gritted teeth and green skin?)
And when the 17-year-old high-schooler Gurr does sing, this is not a matter of being an unskilled singer thinking he was born talented. He sounds like he trying very, very hard, and has worked very, very hard to get this point. Oh, the inability to physically handle the audition process might be a factor. But this is definitely a specific technique he's worked on, and I'll imagine that friends at school can't get enough of it. I'd venture to say that there might be a market for this kind of singing... perhaps if Days of the New was looking for a new lead singer. I don't think he's self-deluded at all, and knows exactly how he sounds; he just doesn't recognize that he has no place in this kind of competition. Forget music teachers; this is a job for a guidance counselor.
The good news is that we'll only see these kinds of auditions for another.,. seven episodes? If Fox really has toned down the disasters, then we're still in for a loooooong four weeks.
There's a "murdering the classics" sequence which I won't go into, other than expressing my gratitude to Idol's licensing department for including my musical heroes Roland Orzabal and Curt Smith on their ongoing royalty gravy train.
20-year-old singer-songwriter Aundre "X-Ray" Caraway busts into the audition room like it's his job-- energy off the charts, and seeming genuinely happy to be there. (Did he say his grandmother "had the first mariachi"? Do mariachi players have groupies like that?) He then asks where he can put his guitar, and then I realize he's brought his guitar in with him. At least if he'd actually played the damn thing, he might have salvaged his audition, partly to impart some professional consistency (i.e. "this was not a prop"), but mostly so he wouldn't be able to dance, which he proceeds to do with frightening, loose-limbed abandon. Talk about extremes and keeping your eyes off the prize: where Gurr is in a shell, Caraway is on his own planet. Has anyone ever gotten to Hollywood by being on his or her own planet? (Alright, maybe Kelly Pickler. But she's ridiculously pretty, so that's almost a good excuse.)
16-year-old high-schooler Arianna Afsar is disturbingly chipper, but not in an off-the-deep-end way. She is an excellent singer to be sure, with a rich R&B mezzo; my main reservation is with the almost dead-on imitation of Corinne Bailey Rae in singing "Put Your Records On", down to the cracks, snarls and quirky vowels. Paula noted "That song was right for you... I'm glad you sang that"-- a dead-on positive critique which I'm sure will be ignored by tens of thousands of future auditionees. That said, it does make me wonder if she'll be good singer in her own right, or if she just found a lucky song that she's was particularly good at imitating.
We're treated to an "every note in the book" sequence, focusing on past male auditionees singing in falsetto. One is flat-out awful (i.e. he probably wasn't even aware that he was singing high), while two are actually quite skilled but inappropriate for a mainstream singing show. And here's where I go off the deep end: You know whose audition I really loved, back in his original showing last season, and was thrilled to see again tonight? The pasty-faced kid singing "I climbed the frosty mountains." He is a counter-tenor of stunning proportions. It's a skill that has no marketability in the pop world; however-- and this is going to sound pejorative, given the types of people often involved-- I think this guy would make a killing at renaissance faires. I'm dead serious. I don't know his name or how to find him (I supposed I could do a Google search for "American Idol" and "frosty mountains"), but if he put himself out there, early-music ensembles and Societies for Creative Anachronism would be beating down his door to book him. In music history classes in college, we would listen to historically-accurate recordings of pre-Baroque French motets, and a classmate said he couldn't believe that men could successfully woo women using such extreme, flourishy, "girly" falsettoes. I say we drop off the "frosty mountain" guy in Tuxedo, N.Y. on Labor Day weekend and see if he doesn't end up with both a fat wallet and his pick of the lusty wenches.
As a bass singer who's usually the lowest talker in the room, I'm torn between awe and pity concerning 22-year-old(!) cashier Elijah Scarlett. He's been blessed with a rich, Michael-Duncan-Clarke-like speaking voice, but sounds like some sort of cartoon dog when he sings. He chose a song-- "My First, My Last, My Everything"-- that theoretically should have played to his unique talent, but it backfired when it turned out that he, er, couldn't carry a tune. Oh, the scooping, and the mysterious false accent he sings with. (Simon asks the magic questions: "Have you seen the show before? You've heard it? And you are aware what the purpose of the show is?" Like that's going to give people second thoughts about auditioning.) A gift like Elijah's deserves to be honed better; I hope he works on it and comes back to kick some sonic ass next year. (When he began singing, my wife Samantha turned to me and said "Well, at least he could do voiceovers." Randy agreed!)
When you start an audition with the words "I'm your biggest fan", that's frightening. 16-year-old Kara-stalker Lea Marie Golde-- dressed in a pink shirt and matching cowboy hat which I'm sure is right in style in her Connecticut hometown-- makes the odd choice of "Every Time We Touch", which actually appears to work in her favor during the verse, where she has a twangy High School Musical kind of sound (in a good way). And the chorus kicks in, and what was cute and twangy in a lower register becomes shrill and nasal in the higher part of her voice. I appreciate that she's belting like mad, which takes a lot of self-confidence; she needs to find a way to tone down the "character" when she goes high. It's hard to tell if she's at the top of her range, because she's pushing so hard that it sounds like a struggle, even if it's easy for her. (Simon said "Really annoying", and Randy even referred to High School Musical as an example, albeit negatively.)
16-year-old high-schooler Stevie Wright has uncanny control over all parts of her alto voice. "At Last" may be overrated (in my opinion), but she did more with the word "clover" than X-Ray did with... well, whatever the hell words he was singing on his low notes. She's easily in, and will probably kick ass in Hollywood as well, despite not being, oh, a drama queen, raving lunatic or social recluse. See what happens when you audition with appropriate material and treat the auditioners with respect? Amazing how that works.
27-year-old oil-rig worker Michael Sarver has chops. Wow. Lyric flubs on "Thank You" (Boyz II Men version) aside, there wasn't a weak spot in his audition. Is he the strongest we've seen? No, but that's serious raw talent, and hopefully-- if he's already made it to the live rounds in February-- he's used the five months since to get his vocal act more together. His main weakness was singing on pure grit instead of support, which is impressive, but he needs to hone his power, which seems to be lurking just out of sight.
(Note to Randy M.: That man is a blue-collar worker. A cubicle-dweller disingenuously singing "Livin' on a Prayer" while an oil-rig worker earnestly sings "Thank You" is the ironic feel-good story of the night, I think.)
And now a freak-show sequence. These folks are presumably not moving on to Hollywood...
...but the next freak-show will, to my surprise. Gimmicks rarely get anyone anywhere on this show, but 20-year-old model Katrina Darrell, a/k/a Bikini Girl, apparently didn't get the memo. "I've gotten attention for wearing it." Noooooooo. Interestingly, when she walks into the audition room, Randy asks "Do you go to all auditions like this?", and she responds "No, just this one." If I had children, I'd avert their eyes-- not because of the bikini specifically, but because she's a terrible role model for any students (or impressionable adults) for whom Idol may be their only experience with auditions, and will think that gimmicks (half-naked or fully-clothed) work in the real world. Mind you, this is all my impression before hearing her sing at all. Turns out she wasn't that great of a singer either; decent and occasionally powerful, but with no control at all on "Vision of Love"'s notorious melismas (the multiple-note runs that Mariah Carey built her career on), where her voice would go from clear to unbelievably nasal on a dime. I suspect the producers had some sway on this one, as the usually more picky Simon and Randy were in the tank for her from the start, leaving Kara and Paula to stew in disbelief. She's on to Hollywood on a 2-2 decision, but she's going to get destroyed once they hear her with some goddamn clothes on.
17-year-old Eric "Sexual Chocolate" Thomas regales us with a tattoo on his back and an earnest but flawed attempt at "Ribbon in the Sky". He has personality to spare, but then upon singing reveals that he suffers from a combination of Elijah's mysterious singing accent and Lea Marie's overeager nasality. Stevie Wonder showed more soul at the pre-inaguration concert simply playing the intro to "Higher Ground" than Thomas does in a verse and chorus.
Following this is a montage of failed auditionees throwing hissy-fits. My favorites is the woman rushing off, snarling "What a nightmare; this show is a joke." Yes, that's why you showed up. See you next year!
"Oh my gosh!" 22-year-old college student Brianna Quijada has some serious low notes. Of course, the fact she successfully made the modulation into the chorus at all probably made her better than most people who walked into that room that day, but she does have chops. I rarely disagree with Simon, who initially said she got to that point by personality and not a good voice, but I think she has a great voice with a great combination of focused tone and control in the low notes (again, remember X-Ray). She got through 2-2 when Simon changed his mind, but I think there's enough raw talent to get her further if she can supress the giggles.
Another sequence, this time focusing on the enablers. Er, I mean, the families.
25-year-old bartender Deanna Brown also gets her Corinne Lee Bailey on, by way of Amanda Overmeyer, as she gets through "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay". Randy likes the snarl, and eventually all four give emphatic yesses, but because her performance seemed so derivative, I wonder if she'll be able to hack it in the Hollywood rounds. Granted, Overmeyer, who was essentially channelling a more sober Janis Joplin, made it shockingly far in season 7, but really she kind of flew under the radar (and looked miserable and alone too). I'll root for Deanna, but I don't see it happening. [Insert future backpedaling here.]
17-year-old high-schooler (and homemade horror-film director) Cody Sheldon does an okay job with "Wonderful World" (James Morrison). As Kara says, his emo look doesn't match the very Disney sound of his voice, which wouldn't be a problem if his singing was particularly good. If there was another off-camera song that went better, I wish we could've seen it, because I don't think the one we saw was particular exceptional and deserving of advancement. (It's possible it was a split decision, of course.) While Cody doesn't have a bad, it's far too thin to get him very far when he's being compared to today's advancers alone.
19-year-old enigma Alex Wagner-Trugman is set up to be a self-conscious brainiac, but then takes me by surprise (damn you, editors!) with "Baby, Come To Me" (one of my favorite songs from the '80s, too), which is sung quite powerfully. His eyes had a tendency to bug out in the verse and channel, but he loosened up a bit when Randy started singing along, which would have had the opposite effect on most people, but something tells me Alex is living on a different plane than the rest of us anyway. (Perhaps it's the Bizarro world to Kelly Pickler's.) I agree with the decision to advance him based on sound alone, but I also agree with Simon comment that Alex "can't do well in this competition." I'm trying to imagine insular Alex even able to socialize with likes of Deanna, Brianna, Stevie or Arianna in Hollywood. Nah, not happening.
Finally, my favorite kinds of montage, where they show a series of people singing the same song (in this case "Wanted Dead or Alive"), including some people we've already seen, and usually sung badly. Now, in fairness to many of those included, according to friends who have attended the cattle-call auditions in New Jersey, the televised judges' round is actually the second or third round, before which everyone must learn a song from a list of songs licensed for use on the show. Some people may know a lot of them, and some may not know them at all, so many people end up on the televised round with a double disadvantage: they were chosen for that round specifically because they're mediocre to bad singers, and they're singing a song they don't know well. I used to yell at the screen "Learn your freakin' lyrics before you audition!", but now I'm more forgiving. Not that it's any less painful, of course. Watching Elijah give it a shot eased the pain a bit; now I know how Bon Jovi would be sung by Lenny from Of Mice and Men. Oh, snap.
For the feel-good story of the night, 23-year-old pianist Scott Macintyre (who is legally blind) gives a smooth, just-breathy-enough performance of "And So It Goes". I could have lived without the liberties he took on "and this is why my eyes are closed," but his clear light baritone and skillful use of falsetto is worthy of advancement. The catch, of course, is that the show has always ended up being about power; even David Archuleta, for all of his nice-guy vibe, still had a strength in his voice that carried him even through bad choices. I'll root for Scott too, but I don't see him going far (and yes, I recognize that it sounds like an awful thing to say about a visually-impaired performer who'll have a obvious disadvantage in performance, but a stronger voice would carry him further). [Insert future backpedaling here.]
Kansas City next. Yay, another screaming freak-fest! Can't wait.
As I've written in my initial posting, I'm approaching my critique of American Idol from a musical and performance perspective. It's especially hard to remain objective (and sane) in the cattle-call round, where the unprepared and self-delusional go to die. I will do my best to keep the Television-Without-Pity-esque snarkiness to a minimum, although my snark will certainly raise its head when it comes to questioning the choices of the unprepared and self-delusional. It'll likely die out as we enter the Hollywood round where people are 100% selected for their talent, as opposed to the television round of the cattle-calls where 50% are there for talent and 50% for weirdness.
[Fox TV's recap here.]
A faux-philosophical quote from David Foster opens the season. "In life, the microphone passes your lips but once... you had better be ready to sing." Seriously? Although this is obviously pop philosophy meant to make an analogy between performing and general chances in life, doesn't using music in the analogy in such a public setting run counter to what arts teachers try to impart: that it's okay to fail, as long as you're trying hard to improve? One chance? To be ready? Seriously? If that's advice to live by, it would certainly explain the endless train of auditionees who show up unprepared and then break down inconsolably because Simon didn't like them. Wahhhhhhhh.
Curtain up on Simon pep-talking a crowd during the first season, followed by a brilliantly-edited montage of past seasons' hits and misses, to the tune of Louis Armstrong's "What A Wonderful World". There are clips of the original auditions of eventual finalists-- Kelly Pickler, Chris Daughtry, Katherine McPhee, et al.-- as well as of less successful auditions and miscellaneous footage from the likes of William Hung, the "bush baby" guy, and the woman who flailed her middle fingers about and cryptically screamed at Simon to "take it, take it, take it!" No wonder she's so pissed: David Foster told her the microphone passes her lips but once!
A brief word on William Hung. I heard pieces of his debut album Inspiration when I was in the Virgin Megastore in Times Square shortly after the album's release in 2004. I happened upon a listening station, and just had to hear it. Was he a bad singer, even under the gloss of well-funded studio production? Oh yes. Were his inspirational messages treacly? Oh Lord yes. But is he self-deluded? Hard to say. You could say no, as he in fact got a record contract with Koch, which confirms, novelty or not, that he has a talent that's worth spending money on. But then again, not everyone defines success as a major-label record contract, and prefer the more old-fashioned standard of, say, being good at what you do. So in that sense, he remains quite self-deluded, albeit self-deluded on a large pile of money.
The season 7 finale reveal (from May 21) is replayed, and Ryan Seacrest intones in the voiceover: "At that moment, 55 million Americans held their breath." If your DVR is like mine, you held your breath a long time, because the episode ended at exactly 11 PM, so Ryan says "David...", immediately followed by my DVR asking "Would you like to delete this episode?" Is it really that hard to keep a show like this on schedule? With all of the awful wooden group performances that start the post-Hollywood shows, couldn't they do without one or two (or sixteen) of them for the sake of keeping 19 Entertainment's end-credit logo with the time frame of the show?
I called David Cook from his intial audition, by the way. Just sayin'.
Seacrest later intones "But this show is not about the destination; the beauty of Idol is the journey itself." Ironically, what keeps the hordes of the self-deluded and inexperienced coming to the auditions is that they see nothing but the destination-- fame, wealth, validation-- without considering any of the journey that precedes it. Like, I dunno, learning to sing before showing for a singing audition. God bless television.
20-year-old cashier and afro-cultivator Tuan Nguyen incorporates "tap-incorporated" ROTC-drill-inspired movement into his performances to make it "unique" and "more marketable". Hey, one out of two ain't bad. I admit I was quite intrigued by the movement in the clips leading up the audition, even though I know already that judges aren't going to care about it, and in fact anyone who pays attention to the show knows that dancing has never been a part of the show at all, making this train-wreck-in-the-making all the more compelling. His light tenor isn't awful, but his breath control is (probably compounded by nervousness, as demonstrated in the water-guzzling clip), and he changes keys twice before hitting the chorus of "The Way You Make Me Feel". And then the "dancing" ensues.
Let's forget for a moment that dancing is irrelevant in this competition. Whatever focus he exhibited in earlier clips completely disappears when he starts with the tap dancing, which of course looks nothing like the JROTC stuff he was talking about earlier, and in fact morphs into a second-rate imitation of Michael Jackson. What are two general lessons about auditioning can we take from this debacle?
1) Focus on what you're there to do, and don't distract yourself with stupid crap.
2) Audition with what the auditioners are looking for. Season after season, the judges reiterate that the show is at heart about singing, and yet people keep trying to incorporate gimmicks-- dance, costuming, etc.-- despite the overwhelming empirical evidence that it does you no good. Or does it? More on that later.
"Are you surprised?" asks Simon. "I mean, honestly, yeah, I am," a crestfallen Tuan replies (as Idol's genius producers fade up "Careless Whisper" underneath). Outside, he says "I'm really hurt right now. It meant the world to me... It seemed like they were with me at first, you know? I felt like I had it in the bag for a second." (It was, in fact, literally a second, two at the most.) "But then, I don't know, they just didn't like it."
Alright, this is the reason we need more arts in the schools. Not being to assess yourself is one problem; another problem is the inability to recognize criticism when it's negative and work with it to improve. He will no doubt take absolutely nothing from this experience other than disappointment, as he's just not equipped to handle anything outside of himself. If you live in Tuan's neighborhood, please kick his elementary-school general music teacher in the butt for me.
Tuan ends the interview saying "I don't know what they're looking for, honestly, but it's not me." See No. 2 above. You'd think that watching the show would help fill that gap in his knowledge, right?
21-year-old semi-pro singer Emily Wynne-Hughes, inexplicably wearing a scarf in the desert heat, does a decent job on "Barracuda". She starts out with quite a vibrato, but nails the higher notes in chest voice, which sounds like she's at the top her range.
This lesson, which she apparently already learned and demonstrated well, is lost on not just on many self-deluded Idol auditionees but on countless people everywhere in any audition situation-- including the students and adults I've auditioned for various programs and productions throughout the years. That is:
3) Choose a song that is good for you. During one single day of auditioning prospective vocal students for Talent Unlimited H.S. in Manhattan in 2005 (I was the band & orchestra teacher at the time), I heard Alicia Keys' "Falling" an amazing 15 times out of 30 auditionees. But did the song work for all 15 of them? Of course not. Two obvious reasons why this happened: a) the song was popular at the time, and b) the less successful auditionees simply weren't preparing themselves propertly for an audition. I don't know if it's a chorus teacher issue (if they were fortunate enough to have a chorus in middle school in New York City, that is) or a guidance issue, but these young ladies were approaching the audition the completely wrong way, and it frustrated me as the auditioner to not be able to gauge so many of them properly because they were either wrong for the song, or they were doing their best Alicia Keys impression and not singing in their own voice. It also, of course, made me wonder if this was the only song they could sing, and if so, how long have they been singing? Since elementary school, or since they found out about the audition? It's about the journey, not a single moment of truth, dammit.
28-year-old sales rep Randy Madden does have raw talent. He likely could muster up some better singing if he practiced and got more objective feedback on a regular basis, but it's not there now to justify going to Hollywood. He does appear to be genuine, sane, and take himself seriously.
Alright, maybe too seriously. "I just want someone to tell me that I'm great. That's all." "Where I'm standing, this is the moment where I can shine, or i can just go out like a comet, where you see me-- bright shining star-- and crash to the ground."
Yikes. Yet another reason we need arts in the schools. Is there no in-between for some people? Are people that afraid to fail? Are we as teachers not giving students the intellectual tools they need to not only self-evaluate, but to practice their craft productively to begin with, and to give them perspective they need, before auditions become earth-shattering events that will destroy them emotionally? And these are adults we're watching here! Like with politics and classroom management, you have to find the center. Everything in moderation, folks; everything in moderation.
After a weak rendition of "Livin' on a Prayer", Simon rightfully tells Randy M. that you can't just dress up in a rock star getup and declare yourself talented. When Randy tried to use his lack of training or collaboration as a selling point, Paula (impressively demonstrating a more lucid demeanor this season) gave great advice regarding the need for hard work and "comradery" with a band to get your skills up. "Going solo" isn't a badge of honor if it's not working.
(Anyone know if he was basing his performance on a popular recording other than Bon Jovi's? The unfamliar pauses and liberties with the melody sounded too well-planned to be on-the-spot mistakes. And did he really say "blue-collar guy working in a cubicle"?)
16-year-old high-schooler J.B. Ahfua is shockingly confident, with a powerful (albeit wavy) R&B tenor and great facility with the chromatic passages. He was a no-brainer to get the ticket to Hollywood; isn't it interesting how the best auditions usually end up being the shortest? His breathing was all over the place though (three times in three seconds at one point), which could kill him in future rounds as nerves creep in, as Simon alluded to when he said he wished J.B would "loosen up". The lesson he may end up learning the hard way is that better breathing begets better breathing; otherwise you're literally fighting yourself.
As I'm writing this, I'm laughing out loud at the Michael Gurr introduction sequence. And this is before he sings. (Doesn't Kara look eerily like a ringer for Idina Menzel in Wicked when they freeze her with gritted teeth and green skin?)
And when the 17-year-old high-schooler Gurr does sing, this is not a matter of being an unskilled singer thinking he was born talented. He sounds like he trying very, very hard, and has worked very, very hard to get this point. Oh, the inability to physically handle the audition process might be a factor. But this is definitely a specific technique he's worked on, and I'll imagine that friends at school can't get enough of it. I'd venture to say that there might be a market for this kind of singing... perhaps if Days of the New was looking for a new lead singer. I don't think he's self-deluded at all, and knows exactly how he sounds; he just doesn't recognize that he has no place in this kind of competition. Forget music teachers; this is a job for a guidance counselor.
The good news is that we'll only see these kinds of auditions for another.,. seven episodes? If Fox really has toned down the disasters, then we're still in for a loooooong four weeks.
There's a "murdering the classics" sequence which I won't go into, other than expressing my gratitude to Idol's licensing department for including my musical heroes Roland Orzabal and Curt Smith on their ongoing royalty gravy train.
20-year-old singer-songwriter Aundre "X-Ray" Caraway busts into the audition room like it's his job-- energy off the charts, and seeming genuinely happy to be there. (Did he say his grandmother "had the first mariachi"? Do mariachi players have groupies like that?) He then asks where he can put his guitar, and then I realize he's brought his guitar in with him. At least if he'd actually played the damn thing, he might have salvaged his audition, partly to impart some professional consistency (i.e. "this was not a prop"), but mostly so he wouldn't be able to dance, which he proceeds to do with frightening, loose-limbed abandon. Talk about extremes and keeping your eyes off the prize: where Gurr is in a shell, Caraway is on his own planet. Has anyone ever gotten to Hollywood by being on his or her own planet? (Alright, maybe Kelly Pickler. But she's ridiculously pretty, so that's almost a good excuse.)
16-year-old high-schooler Arianna Afsar is disturbingly chipper, but not in an off-the-deep-end way. She is an excellent singer to be sure, with a rich R&B mezzo; my main reservation is with the almost dead-on imitation of Corinne Bailey Rae in singing "Put Your Records On", down to the cracks, snarls and quirky vowels. Paula noted "That song was right for you... I'm glad you sang that"-- a dead-on positive critique which I'm sure will be ignored by tens of thousands of future auditionees. That said, it does make me wonder if she'll be good singer in her own right, or if she just found a lucky song that she's was particularly good at imitating.
We're treated to an "every note in the book" sequence, focusing on past male auditionees singing in falsetto. One is flat-out awful (i.e. he probably wasn't even aware that he was singing high), while two are actually quite skilled but inappropriate for a mainstream singing show. And here's where I go off the deep end: You know whose audition I really loved, back in his original showing last season, and was thrilled to see again tonight? The pasty-faced kid singing "I climbed the frosty mountains." He is a counter-tenor of stunning proportions. It's a skill that has no marketability in the pop world; however-- and this is going to sound pejorative, given the types of people often involved-- I think this guy would make a killing at renaissance faires. I'm dead serious. I don't know his name or how to find him (I supposed I could do a Google search for "American Idol" and "frosty mountains"), but if he put himself out there, early-music ensembles and Societies for Creative Anachronism would be beating down his door to book him. In music history classes in college, we would listen to historically-accurate recordings of pre-Baroque French motets, and a classmate said he couldn't believe that men could successfully woo women using such extreme, flourishy, "girly" falsettoes. I say we drop off the "frosty mountain" guy in Tuxedo, N.Y. on Labor Day weekend and see if he doesn't end up with both a fat wallet and his pick of the lusty wenches.
As a bass singer who's usually the lowest talker in the room, I'm torn between awe and pity concerning 22-year-old(!) cashier Elijah Scarlett. He's been blessed with a rich, Michael-Duncan-Clarke-like speaking voice, but sounds like some sort of cartoon dog when he sings. He chose a song-- "My First, My Last, My Everything"-- that theoretically should have played to his unique talent, but it backfired when it turned out that he, er, couldn't carry a tune. Oh, the scooping, and the mysterious false accent he sings with. (Simon asks the magic questions: "Have you seen the show before? You've heard it? And you are aware what the purpose of the show is?" Like that's going to give people second thoughts about auditioning.) A gift like Elijah's deserves to be honed better; I hope he works on it and comes back to kick some sonic ass next year. (When he began singing, my wife Samantha turned to me and said "Well, at least he could do voiceovers." Randy agreed!)
When you start an audition with the words "I'm your biggest fan", that's frightening. 16-year-old Kara-stalker Lea Marie Golde-- dressed in a pink shirt and matching cowboy hat which I'm sure is right in style in her Connecticut hometown-- makes the odd choice of "Every Time We Touch", which actually appears to work in her favor during the verse, where she has a twangy High School Musical kind of sound (in a good way). And the chorus kicks in, and what was cute and twangy in a lower register becomes shrill and nasal in the higher part of her voice. I appreciate that she's belting like mad, which takes a lot of self-confidence; she needs to find a way to tone down the "character" when she goes high. It's hard to tell if she's at the top of her range, because she's pushing so hard that it sounds like a struggle, even if it's easy for her. (Simon said "Really annoying", and Randy even referred to High School Musical as an example, albeit negatively.)
16-year-old high-schooler Stevie Wright has uncanny control over all parts of her alto voice. "At Last" may be overrated (in my opinion), but she did more with the word "clover" than X-Ray did with... well, whatever the hell words he was singing on his low notes. She's easily in, and will probably kick ass in Hollywood as well, despite not being, oh, a drama queen, raving lunatic or social recluse. See what happens when you audition with appropriate material and treat the auditioners with respect? Amazing how that works.
27-year-old oil-rig worker Michael Sarver has chops. Wow. Lyric flubs on "Thank You" (Boyz II Men version) aside, there wasn't a weak spot in his audition. Is he the strongest we've seen? No, but that's serious raw talent, and hopefully-- if he's already made it to the live rounds in February-- he's used the five months since to get his vocal act more together. His main weakness was singing on pure grit instead of support, which is impressive, but he needs to hone his power, which seems to be lurking just out of sight.
(Note to Randy M.: That man is a blue-collar worker. A cubicle-dweller disingenuously singing "Livin' on a Prayer" while an oil-rig worker earnestly sings "Thank You" is the ironic feel-good story of the night, I think.)
And now a freak-show sequence. These folks are presumably not moving on to Hollywood...
...but the next freak-show will, to my surprise. Gimmicks rarely get anyone anywhere on this show, but 20-year-old model Katrina Darrell, a/k/a Bikini Girl, apparently didn't get the memo. "I've gotten attention for wearing it." Noooooooo. Interestingly, when she walks into the audition room, Randy asks "Do you go to all auditions like this?", and she responds "No, just this one." If I had children, I'd avert their eyes-- not because of the bikini specifically, but because she's a terrible role model for any students (or impressionable adults) for whom Idol may be their only experience with auditions, and will think that gimmicks (half-naked or fully-clothed) work in the real world. Mind you, this is all my impression before hearing her sing at all. Turns out she wasn't that great of a singer either; decent and occasionally powerful, but with no control at all on "Vision of Love"'s notorious melismas (the multiple-note runs that Mariah Carey built her career on), where her voice would go from clear to unbelievably nasal on a dime. I suspect the producers had some sway on this one, as the usually more picky Simon and Randy were in the tank for her from the start, leaving Kara and Paula to stew in disbelief. She's on to Hollywood on a 2-2 decision, but she's going to get destroyed once they hear her with some goddamn clothes on.
17-year-old Eric "Sexual Chocolate" Thomas regales us with a tattoo on his back and an earnest but flawed attempt at "Ribbon in the Sky". He has personality to spare, but then upon singing reveals that he suffers from a combination of Elijah's mysterious singing accent and Lea Marie's overeager nasality. Stevie Wonder showed more soul at the pre-inaguration concert simply playing the intro to "Higher Ground" than Thomas does in a verse and chorus.
Following this is a montage of failed auditionees throwing hissy-fits. My favorites is the woman rushing off, snarling "What a nightmare; this show is a joke." Yes, that's why you showed up. See you next year!
"Oh my gosh!" 22-year-old college student Brianna Quijada has some serious low notes. Of course, the fact she successfully made the modulation into the chorus at all probably made her better than most people who walked into that room that day, but she does have chops. I rarely disagree with Simon, who initially said she got to that point by personality and not a good voice, but I think she has a great voice with a great combination of focused tone and control in the low notes (again, remember X-Ray). She got through 2-2 when Simon changed his mind, but I think there's enough raw talent to get her further if she can supress the giggles.
Another sequence, this time focusing on the enablers. Er, I mean, the families.
25-year-old bartender Deanna Brown also gets her Corinne Lee Bailey on, by way of Amanda Overmeyer, as she gets through "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay". Randy likes the snarl, and eventually all four give emphatic yesses, but because her performance seemed so derivative, I wonder if she'll be able to hack it in the Hollywood rounds. Granted, Overmeyer, who was essentially channelling a more sober Janis Joplin, made it shockingly far in season 7, but really she kind of flew under the radar (and looked miserable and alone too). I'll root for Deanna, but I don't see it happening. [Insert future backpedaling here.]
17-year-old high-schooler (and homemade horror-film director) Cody Sheldon does an okay job with "Wonderful World" (James Morrison). As Kara says, his emo look doesn't match the very Disney sound of his voice, which wouldn't be a problem if his singing was particularly good. If there was another off-camera song that went better, I wish we could've seen it, because I don't think the one we saw was particular exceptional and deserving of advancement. (It's possible it was a split decision, of course.) While Cody doesn't have a bad, it's far too thin to get him very far when he's being compared to today's advancers alone.
19-year-old enigma Alex Wagner-Trugman is set up to be a self-conscious brainiac, but then takes me by surprise (damn you, editors!) with "Baby, Come To Me" (one of my favorite songs from the '80s, too), which is sung quite powerfully. His eyes had a tendency to bug out in the verse and channel, but he loosened up a bit when Randy started singing along, which would have had the opposite effect on most people, but something tells me Alex is living on a different plane than the rest of us anyway. (Perhaps it's the Bizarro world to Kelly Pickler's.) I agree with the decision to advance him based on sound alone, but I also agree with Simon comment that Alex "can't do well in this competition." I'm trying to imagine insular Alex even able to socialize with likes of Deanna, Brianna, Stevie or Arianna in Hollywood. Nah, not happening.
Finally, my favorite kinds of montage, where they show a series of people singing the same song (in this case "Wanted Dead or Alive"), including some people we've already seen, and usually sung badly. Now, in fairness to many of those included, according to friends who have attended the cattle-call auditions in New Jersey, the televised judges' round is actually the second or third round, before which everyone must learn a song from a list of songs licensed for use on the show. Some people may know a lot of them, and some may not know them at all, so many people end up on the televised round with a double disadvantage: they were chosen for that round specifically because they're mediocre to bad singers, and they're singing a song they don't know well. I used to yell at the screen "Learn your freakin' lyrics before you audition!", but now I'm more forgiving. Not that it's any less painful, of course. Watching Elijah give it a shot eased the pain a bit; now I know how Bon Jovi would be sung by Lenny from Of Mice and Men. Oh, snap.
For the feel-good story of the night, 23-year-old pianist Scott Macintyre (who is legally blind) gives a smooth, just-breathy-enough performance of "And So It Goes". I could have lived without the liberties he took on "and this is why my eyes are closed," but his clear light baritone and skillful use of falsetto is worthy of advancement. The catch, of course, is that the show has always ended up being about power; even David Archuleta, for all of his nice-guy vibe, still had a strength in his voice that carried him even through bad choices. I'll root for Scott too, but I don't see him going far (and yes, I recognize that it sounds like an awful thing to say about a visually-impaired performer who'll have a obvious disadvantage in performance, but a stronger voice would carry him further). [Insert future backpedaling here.]
Kansas City next. Yay, another screaming freak-fest! Can't wait.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Here we go again (for the very first time).
Leaves change color, a crisp breeze is in the air, kids go back to school, and Fox TV is already posting photos of American Idol’s stadium-filling auditions for season 8. Cue “All My Life’s a Circle”. Time to get this puppy underway.
I do, however, love American Idol. It fulfills several entertainment desires at once for me:
1) It’s a competition, and long but compelling one at that. Why does Major League Baseball’s impossibly dense 164-game seven-month-long season hold people in such thrall? At the beginning of the season (as Bill Murray said in one of his classic SNL short films), everyone’s batting 1.000 and every team is undefeated, and then the rivalries unfold, the players come into sharper focus, and finally the entire season comes down to the wire, and you just HAVE TO KNOW HOW IT TURNS OUT. This last truth holds true, depending on your enjoyment and/or attachment, for any of the other major, minor, independent and college leagues in North America (the Mets’ single-A Brooklyn Cyclones have some die-hard freakin’ fans, and most of the players are straight out of high school), and I’d imagine this holds for other sports soap-operas beyond my U.S.-centric ken, as well as in a more protracted form like the World Cup or the Olympic Games. This aching desire to know how things will turn out was also probably the main reason that the American launch of Survivor took off the way it did in summer 2000. Being the first “reality competition” on American television probably didn’t hurt (Big Brother hadn't yet made it our way), but the true fascination with the show (and what sucked me into seasons 2 & 3) was less about learning about actual wilderness survival skills than about who would win the million dollars (and, given how vague the “game” was, how he or she would pull it off), and it took freakin’ 16 weeks to find out. And there’s certainly more skill involved in winning an Idol season than in slogging through a month in the wilderness “surviving” based on how well you kiss up to people.
2) It’s a singing contest. People who dedicate themselves to a certain skill enjoy competing in that skill area, and enjoy living vicariously through those who compete. Count me in. And see also item 3:
3) It puts the music first. For better or for worse, this show is the closest that America has had to using mass media to promote musicianship since Leonard Bernstein's Young People's Concerts. From heightening the general public’s standard for quality singing, to promoting working songwriters (literally, in the case of Kara DioGuardi), to varying the repertoire to cover not just multiple decades but also multiple genres, to the dizzying array of music that the live band needs to put together on a week’s notice, this show puts the craft of music in the spotlight. (I had reservations last season about oversights regarding transposing to contestants’ strengths, which would fall under musical director Rickey Minor’s responsibilities, but I’ll bring that up if it comes up again.)
“Wait,” many of my fellow music educators out there will ask, “isn't American Idol, and the music and singing involved in it, exactly the kind of society-destroying crap that music teachers should be steering their students away from, and in fact isn’t said crap the kind of crap that music teacher have to fight against to get students to listen to and learn from ‘real’ music?”
Short answer: no.
Long answer: I find in my Google-searching and browsing of music education boards that teachers who pooh-pooh Idol are pre-judging the show without watching it; they may see the promos highlighting “The Best of the Worst” and presume that the whole show is about ritual humiliation. Then there’s the other extreme, where music and theater teachers are using the familiar judging format as a way to engage kids in constructive criticism, without regard for whether real auditions actually work that way, or whether the aforementioned ritual humiliation in the early rounds is for comic relief as opposed for constructive purposes. And yes, granted there is a boatload of ritual humiliation in the first four weeks of the series, as they document the mass audition process and the judges and producers separate the promisingly-musical wheat from the do-you-seriously-not-know-how-awful-you-are chaff. But once we get past that (and you have to admit, some of it is freakin’ hilarious), it’s down to brass vocal tacks. Something about the televised nature of the competition raises the discernment of ordinary folks. Some say that television isn’t real, in the sense that whoever is on TV needs to live up to heightened expectations, but is it so far off from the standard to which we hold Broadway performers, or classical pianists, or movie actors? The kind of things that a singer will get cheered for at a high-school talent show will get the same singer booed off-stage on television, and will certainly lose them a gig or two on any stage. Even to the untrained ear, it’s there subconsciously; anyone who’s ever seen a ballpark crowd react badly to a mediocre singing of “The Star-Spangled Banner” can attest to that. (Sanjaya Malakar’s improbable survival skills, and the camp-appeal attached to certain earnest but misguided YouTube phenomena, notwithstanding.)
Admittedly the show sometimes sells out, lest it look fuddy-duddy, or perhaps lose its cross-promotions. Was anyone else disturbed by the contradiction last season, when Randy expressed annoyance with the quality of current pop songwriting, and then the following week Leona Lewis, Simon’s latest protegé, was trotted out to sing her soon-to-be-hit “Bleeding Love,” one of the dullest songs of the year? As with Liz Taylor’s makeup in Cleopatra or the folk-singing hippie commune in Star Trek, no show can ever seem to be truly independent of its time or place. (Except maybe Mad Men, though I’m sure 20 years from now we might feel differently.)
Anyway, my thesis is that American Idol, for all of its gossip fodder and once-a-week horrific choreographed group numbers, is a great talent showcase, a suspenseful competition, and a four-month-long “teachable moment” that gets an unwarranted bad rap. And this blog is an attempt to make use of the teachable moment. Hope you enjoy it.
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P.S.: As Fox broadcasts specials leading up the formal premiere of season 8, I’ll be posting intermittently as I catch the shows. When season 8 gets underway in January, I’ll be posting hopefully within an hour or two of each show.
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P.P.S.: I suppose that a future FAQ might be “Why 5thjudge.com, and not fifthjudge.com?” Or, “How did you know in advance that there’d be four judges?” Well, I didn’t. I had been planning to purchase fourthjudge.com, or 4thjudge.com, or something similar, since the end of season 7, but kept putting it off. On August 24, I emailed the owner of fourthjudge.com to see if he was interested in selling the name; he quoted me a price based on the income he was getting from advertising on his other sites, but I wasn't ready to lay down that big of a chunk of change. Then, the very next day, on August 25, my Idol-based numerical world-view changed when I read on an AP feed that DioGuardi had been added to the judge’s panel. It was early in the morning, so I hopped onto register.com to see if I could nab fifthjudge.com, but it was already taken, although the web site was idle. (I can’t quite figure out what the site was intended for, something about a “celebration”; is it for discussing agriculture contests, like blue ribbons for biggest watermelon or Zuckerman’s famous pig?) I snapped up 5thjudge.com, and then emailed the guy who owns fifthjudge.com about a sale; he responded that he wasn’t interested giving it up, and didn’t go into further detail. Perhaps he was aware of the gold mine he sat upon... or maybe not. I do feel bad for the guy who owned fourthjudge.com, though, as the value may have shrunk considerably, unless there’s someone out there who’s desperate to create a critique blog for Dancing With The Stars. (Although I don’t usually watch that show, I admit I was glued to season 4 because I was compelled by the pairing of the competitive drive of Apolo Anton Ohno with the impossible hotness of Julianne Hough.)
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